If you are there, please pick up!!!

I had went over to the neighbor's house this morning to borrow a cordless drill and had just stepped back thru the door when I heard the phone ring. Mr Clean has been getting lots of calls here lately (he is a landscaper and this is the start of his busy season.) I thought about not going in the office to answer, because its usually just some retiree wanting yard work done, but I decided to go and check. As I got closer to the office door I could hear that it was my brother on the other line. And he didn't sound good. "If you are there.....pleeeeaaaassseee....pick up." I knew something was bad wrong. For one, he never calls and two, he never, ever, ever has asked me to "please" do anything. So I picked up and he told me that he needed me to take him to the hospital.
My brother is the most accident prone person that I have ever met. He makes regular trips to the e.r. He has broken most of his bones at one time or another, has cut the end of off his bird finger (which if you knew him would be real irony), and has had more stitiches than I can count.
So when I picked up I naturally wanted to know how he had gotten hurt. But to my surprise he had just been sitting in the recliner when it all started. He was in alot of pain so I hurried to go pick him up and rushed him to the hospital. Once we got there I realized that I should have probably called ahead and just took my time driving. We live in a small town and the hospital isn't known for speedy service. We sat (well, I sat Jason laid and rolled around in the floor) forever waiting on a nurse to take him back. What I didn't realize was that we were about 15 ft away from the nurse. She was hanging out with some friends that had brought there new baby in to show her. So while she was gooing at the newborn I was trying to explain the basics of Lamaze breathing to help him with the pain. ( There were two small children in the waiting room and Jason has a mouth like a sailor especially when under stress) So I felt like I needed to do something to keep little virgin ears from hearing some very bad language.
But finally the e.r. nurse got it in gear and took him back. They doped him up and ran a bunch of tests on him and found that he had a few kidney stones. The male equivilent to giving birth, I am told. I might have to disagree since a baby is a whole lot bigger. But , it is painful none the less. So I guess I was right on with the lamaze.
But alls well that ends well. He is resting semi-comfortably at home waiting for his little 'babies' to finally move on out.