ponderings of a mountain girl

The GOOD NEWS

2008-05-03T08:40:00.005-04:00

God has been asking me some really tough questions lately. Do you really love ME? Do you really believe in My Son? Do you love your neighbors and your enemies? Do you love your family? I kept thinking 'Yes, Yes, why do you keep asking?'

But now I get it.... A friend of mine loaned me a book called ONE THING YOU CAN'T DO IN HEAVEN.
I say I love the Lord with my mouth and I say that I really believe in Jesus and I say that love my neighors and family. But words are easy. If I really loved them like I say I do then I would be sharing the gospel with them.

God has called us ALL to be missionaries whether its across the seas or in our own home. If we have heard and believed the gospel then we are qualified and expected to share it.

If we believe in God and his Son, Jesus Christ, then we believe that what the bible says is true. And if we believe that then we must believe that Hell is a very real place and those that don't put their faith in Christ will go there when they die. If we read our bible we know that we are not promised our next breath. That each breath we breathe could be our last and once we breathe our last breath there are no more chances. There is an urgency to sharing the gospel... it can't wait forever.

I have often bought into the lie of tolerance. And by that I mean to say.. that I felt some how wrong in sharing my faith with others that I presumed weren't going to be open to it. I didn't want people to feel offended, because I believe that their beliefs are wrong. But there is absolute truth and everyone needs to hear it. and who am I to judge who is open to it or not. Only God knows a heart. All I can do is lovingly share the truth that I know with everyone I meet.

Its a scary undertaking to face those people who are lost and present the gospel... especially if its family or close friends. But if we pray for God to open their hearts and for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can't loose. If they give their hearts to God... we win. If they promise to think about it... we win (we have planted a seed). If they get mad and stomp off ... we win (I'll betcha they are thinking about what we have said and besides we have been obedient and we can't control others, just ourselves)

So step out and share your faith.... that's what I am going to do.

Oprah and Tolle Eckhart

2008-04-28T16:50:00.002-04:00

I was plundering around on the internet today and happened upon a post talking about Tolle Eckhart's book and Oprah. The author, Greg Boyd, gave a book review. But it was great. He had alot of knowledge about eastern religions and how all these philosophies in Eckhart's book are basically just rehashes and not new thoughts at all.
If you've had questions about the whole book that have been unanswered then this will probably clarify alot of things. It did for me.
So here's the link.....gregboyd.blogspot.com

confessions of a former backslider

2008-04-19T00:21:00.001-04:00

confessions of a former backslider I am not the brightest bulb in the pack. (Okay.. I know.. to those of you who know me ... that's a pretty obvious statement)

I have been loading myself up with 'works' over the past few years thinking that I am pleasing God with all that I do. But in truth alot of the 'works' actually separate me from Him not draw me to Him. God's ultimate priority for me is to have a close and intimate relationship with Him. And whether I am busy with worldly things or busy with church things.... busy is still busy. Busyness leads me to believe that I just don't have the time to spend in prayer or reading the bible, because I need to 'do' something for God.

Kind of comical when you really think about it. What could I do for God? Hmmmm. He created and sustains the entire universe. He is sovereign over all time. His breath sustains my very existence. The list goes on and on... and yet some how I have allowed myself to believe that I am just to busy 'doing' things for Him to spend time with Him. OOOhhhh, pride is such a sneaky, nasty little sin.

But here is the backsliding confession.... after years of backsliding I convinced myself some how that the grace that God merifully provided for me thru His Son, Jesus Christ, wasn't enough. That God couldn't possibly just forgive me...like it says nearly a billion times throughout scripture (that goes back to that whole brightest bulb thing). Confession and repentence couldn't possibly be what God wanted. He wanted me to do things... lots of things... make up for lost time... I had to pay Him back some how for all the years I have missed out on.... man...I am dense. (That plan is not found in the bible anywhere. I guess I must have just wrote my own chapter.)

Psalms 51:16-17
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

I think it goes back to the whole "Babel" mentality. They thought they could work hard enough to build a structure, a tower, that would reach to God. But just as they didn't have a hope of doing so neither do I. I could work 24/7 for the entire rest of my life and never accumulate enough works to please God or satisfy His requirements. All those works stacked up would barely even get me off the ground. If that is my motive and mindset for service then my service is in vain.

The only hope I have is thru Christ. He knew I'd never be able to satisfy the requirements of God's holy law, so instead of encouraging me to work harder and just 'do my best', He went to the cross to bear something that I could never carry... the weight of my sin along with everyone else's. My only hope still is in Christ... thru His covering.

I don't say all of this to say that works aren't important. But our motives for service are everything. First, God wants me broken and humbled so that I can confess and repentent of sin... and then when my heart is clean and my relationship with God is restored that's when the works happen... but only with the right motive. Because I am so grateful for God's mercy that I want to please Him... which means no works of any kind can come between me and God. They can't steal His time. And they have to be His will... not mine.

ALL SERVICE IS FUELED BY SITTING AT THE FEET OF JESUS. Our time with God and time in prayer and the word feeds our service. If we have no relationship with God or we've minimized it until its negligible then the things we do lack power... that of the Holy Spirit. Only works that God calls us to do that we do with pure motives will last thru eternity.

freedom of speech

2008-03-25T16:03:00.000-04:00

freedom of speech
Current mood: thankful

As Americans we have freedom of speech. We believe it is our right to say what ever we choose when we choose it and to whom we choose it .... but God has a little different perspective on our "freedom of speech".

Ephesians 4:29-31 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

I have been memorizing this scripture and let me tell ya... its alot easier to memorize than it is to live.

The part about not talking dirty isn’t that hard for me now, but years ago I cursed like a sailor and said things that would make a sailor turn shades of red, but thankfully I have been able to clean the profanity out of my speech... but the next part is the one that gets me. "Say only what helps, each word a gift."

OOOHHHH... now that’s a tough one. When I yell at the kids or I am sarcastic to my husband that’s not being a ’help’ or I am critical of a friend or judgemental towards an enemy. that’s not exactly using my words as a gift.

And the icing on the cake is the forgiveness part.... man... it is so nice to be able to go to God and ask for forgiveness and recieve it with no strings attached, because Christ paid our penalty, but its a whole ’nother animal to be able to forgive others with that same forgiveness.... especially when we believe that we are justified in being angry at that person.

Forgiving people when we feel justified in our anger is the hardest. When the world is constantly telling you that you have every "right" to be mad and hold a grudge. The world would have you believe that you are a fool for extending forgiveness to someone that has wronged you. But... that’s exactly what God has called us to do.....

So I guess the big question is... who do we believe to be true... the world or God?

Good Friday

2008-03-21T16:16:00.002-04:00

For so many people the only thing "good" about Good Friday is the fact that they don't have to go to work or school and they get a long weekend. I am so thankful that Good Friday means so much more to me.

I found this quote.......

Does God really love us? I say look to the crucified Jesus. Look to the old rugged cross. By every thorn that punctured His brow. By every mark of the back lacerating scourge. By every hair of his beard plucked from his cheeks by cruel fingers. By every bruise which heavy fists made upon His head. God said, "I love you!" By all the spit that landed on his face. By every drop of sinless blood that fell to the ground. By every breath of pain which Jesus drew upon the cross. By every beat of His loving heart. God said, I love you. ---Billy Lobbs

I am so thankful that my Savior did not come to be served like an earthly king and sit in a castle on top of a hill, gaurded and gated. He didn't separate Himself from the ordinary and afflicted and sinful. He ate with the tax collectors, gave forgiveness and hope to the adulterer, and healing to the blind, lame, and sick.

He came to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. I am so thankful that even though He could have called legions of angels or literally just struck dead His persecuters at any point He choose to endure the suffering and the shame so that I might have a right relationship with the Father and spend eternity in His presence in heaven where there is no suffering, no tears, no pain, or sickness.

When people who don't know Jesus look at the cross I wonder what they see..... violence, ugliness... I am not sure. But when I look at the cross I am overwhelmed by the love and compassion that the Lord has for all of us sinners.

And although it is a sad day in itself, because our Savior was crucified....we don't have to stay sad long.. because in the famous words of S M Lockeridge, it may be friday now.... but "Sunday's comin!!"

Prayer

2008-03-14T19:33:00.004-04:00

The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion.

He laughs at our toil and mocks our wisdom,
But trembles when we pray.

---Samuel Chadwick

This quote reminds me that I can't do it on my own. Alot of times I let the busyness of life overtake me and I wonder why I live so defeated... duh... Its God that makes the difference not my vain effort. God has grown me so much over the past year or so. And the more He grows me the more I see how small and unimportant I am and how amazing and wonderful and sovereign and capable He is. I am beginning to understand Paul when he said... that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. Our inability makes Gods ability that much more evident.

Chosen people

2008-02-17T15:30:00.002-05:00

I reread THE HIDING PLACE by Corrie Ten Boom last year. I don't know if a book has ever made an impact on me like that one has...aside from the Bible. I had read it maybe 10 yrs or so ago, but I really don't remember being moved by it or that interested in it. This time it was a different story.

I couldn't put it down. There were so many things that jumped out at me. I remember one particular that really hit. When Corrie was finally taken in. She had the flu and had been in the bed for days with a fever. At the time I got to that chapter I had picked up a stomach bug, so I read that section while I was sick and not feeling well myself. I just kept thinking what a blessing it was to lay in my nice, warm, cozy bed while I was sick. It was just unimaginable to me to have endure what people did during that period.

I don't know if its my age or what, but I just have such a hard time getting my head wrapped around the whole idea of the Holocaust. Since rereading THE HIDING PLACE, I have also read Elie Wiesel's biography. It is so hard for me to understand the mentality of those in the world who did nothing. I can 'get' why Hitler and his crew did what they did. I understand evil.. . I guess indifference and apathy is where I struggle.

When I think about this I wonder what most average, everday folks around the world actually knew about what was going on. I know that the leaders of the countries had to know, but I wonder how informed everyone else was. I want to believe they knew very little, because that makes it so much easier to understand.

I also wonder to myself... what would I have thought. It is so easy to see from the vantage point where I sit today and say that I would have cared. I want to believe that I would. But then I ask myself ...."how many places are there in the world today where people are persecuted and suffer horribly that I am apathetic to?"

I feel so insulated. I almost at times don't feel like I live in reality. I sit in my home here and it is hard to really fathom how the rest of the world lives. As Americans. even our own government isn't grounded in reality. We spend pretend money on things that don't really matter. Our kids think that they are living in poverty when they don't have the lastest gaming system or cell phone. We talk about being descriminated against, but even that alot of times seems so petty compared with the rest of the world's troubles.

I don't know why the Holocaust has gotten my attention so. I studied about it in high school and college and I remember thinking it was bad, but then forgot about it as quickly as I had heard about it. I think it may have to do with the fact that I really believe that we are doomed to repeat past mistakes if we don't study them and really get to the bottom and learn the lessons no matter how painful. So I guess this is the beginning of an education on the Holocaust.

I also have been reading a book about Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. It is written as a historical account. It is interesting to see how these three religions have interacted since about 70 AD. Having read thru most of that book I wonder if the Holocaust wasn't really stopped just because it was Jews. I hate to think that . But once you see in black and white how Jews and Christians have interacted throughout history. I am really ignorant on that subject as it pertains to the last 100 years. But I am thirty three and I can remember people saying things like 'jew someone out of something' or terms like that from my childhood... which was the late 70's to early 80's.

I can't really understand the issue especially for Christians. But maybe there is where my ignorance comes into play. I don't understand completely the relationship between God and the Jews, but there is alot that I don't fully understand. I know that they are His chosen people. Some people find that offensive... I really don't understand that, but I really don't feel one way or the other about it. God is God. He can do as He chooses. If He wants Jews to be His chosen people then fine with me. To me that means that I should pray for them and seek to protect them not destroy them and talk negatively of them.

But its like with so many things. 15 people read the bible and come away with 15 different interpretations. All I can do is rely on the Holy Spirit's guidance and pray that I would understand the truth.

Wow... I didn't mean to just ramble on... But I did.

persecuted church

2008-02-09T15:07:00.000-05:00

My eyes have just recently been opened to the persecuted church. I heard a man named Patrick Sookhdeo speak on a Focus on the Family broadcast. (I didn't get to hear all of it though). It is amazing how isolated we can be even in the midst of all the technology we have.

I guess in the back of my mind I knew that Christians were persecuted for their beliefs, but unfortunately, it was not something I thought or prayed about a great deal... or honestly ... at all. But after hearing him speak I decided to educate myself. ( I have earned several degrees from Google University... hahhaa) So I got on line and googled his name and the words "persecuted christians." I found out so much.

It is just heartbreaking... and convicting. To think.. we as Christians in America can meet together with no fear of being of our church being raided and our bibles being confiscated and yet we opt to lay in bed on Sunday morning and sleep late. We can share the gospel freely and openly with very few restrictions and yet we keep the good news to ourselves.

I talked to some ladies that I meet with on Fridays for prayer and they had no real clue about the persecution that Christians endure in other countries either. I really don't think that we are out of the norm.... sad to say. Even though we have access to the whole world I think that alot of times we don't want to be bothered with anything that isn't happening in our own neighborhood.

It is amazing how God works though. I heard Patrick Sookhdeo on the radio and that very night my son asked me to read to him about what heaven was like. So I turned to Revelations and read to him. After he went to sleep I just decided to read the whole book.. not normally something I would do, but as I was reading. in chapter 6 several verses jumped out at me.....

v9 When the Lamb broke the fifth seal. I saw under the alter the souls of all who had been martyred for the word of God and for being faithful to in their testimony. They shouted to the Lord and said, "O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you judge the people who belong to this world and avenge our blood for what they have done to us? Then they were given a white robe and told to rest a while longer until the full number of their brothers and sisters-- their fellow servants in Jesus who were to be martyred--had joined them

Then the next night my son asked me to show him in his bible the verse he currently is memorizing... I Peter 5:6. After reading the verse he randomly pointed to a block of text on the facing page and asked me to read it. It was 1 Peter 4:12-19 which talks about how we shouldn't be surprised at trials and being persecuted for our faith. And how we should keep on doing what is right even in the face of persecution and trust the Lord.

Its funny how the Holy Spirit illuminates what he wants you to see. I have been looking at that page in 1Peter for weeks now trying to help my boys memorize it.... but only at the right time did those other verses stand out.

I feel a burden... as we all should... to pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ that are living with persecution. I have had to ask for forgiveness for my ignorance and apathy and indifference. I hope that this lights a spark in anyone who reads it to do the same. And now that I know this truth I pray that I am faithful in telling others so that they may pray also.

Prayer crosses space and time and distance. Our prayers are heard by our Father in heaven and there is nothing that is out of his reach.

If you are interested in more info here are some great sights I found.

Open Doors USA
International Day of Prayer
Voice of the Martyr

a few political thoughts

2008-02-08T15:59:00.000-05:00

Well, Super Tuesday is in the rear view mirror. Its looking like the Republican party is swinging out towards left field.... I guess whether that is a bad thing depends on who you are.

Mitt Romney gave his farewell speech.. probably one of the best speeches he has given thus far.. maybe he should have been writing his own speeches all along. Now we are down to McCain and Huckabee... two very liberal republicans. I have heard many people say that they would NEVER vote for McCain, but I think you need to be careful with your nevers.

I am still sort of in shock that the republican party for the first time... maybe ever.. doesn't have a true conservative candidate. I became elligible to vote in 1993 and I have voted in every election since. Most of the time I have a small feeling deep inside that I am choosing the lesser of two evils, but each year that feeling grows greater and greater.

It will be interesting to see how the rep party as a whole reacts to the recent turn of events and even more interesting to see who McCain will pick for VP. Romney was super complementary to him when introducing him after he stepped out... maybe he was trying to brown nose to get that vp spot. But I find it very unlikely that McCain would go for a vp that is as conservative as Romney... allthough he would probably make a great one.

The democrats haven't been quite as interesting. Hillary has went from ripping Obama's head off to basically engaging in a lovefest with him at times. Who knows? I like Obama. Even though I don't believe in a thing he is pushing for. He is inspiring and engaging. The dreamer side of me buys it all hook, line, and sinker. I am ready for a new America when he thru talking, but then a few seconds later the true pragmatist comes back out and that warm fuzzy feeling is gone. His competitor, Mrs. Clinton, absolutely grates me to the core. She is like fingernails down a chalkboard.

Really none of the parties represent me... maybe I am a closet independent. I believe that our government should be fiscally responsible. We should balance the books each year. We should only spend what we have and we shouldn't spend anything until we pay off our gigantic debt. We should be the generation that sucks it up and makes it right for future generations.... not a very popular mindset...

I believe in healthcare for everyone... but not provided by our government. I believe that our government has way too much power and they have abused it. I don't know about you, but I have been to government offices before.. take for instances the DMV... I do not want the same people running the DMV in charge of my healthcare. no way.

Enough... I could go on for days and days about pork spending and all of the other abuses of the power that they have been given, but it just raises my bp to no avail.... so I won't.

r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-y

2008-01-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

I have just recently started to homeschool the Banimal and a friend loaned me a really neat little curriculum called Five in a Row. It takes children's library books and makes at least a weeks worth of lessons out of them. The first one I am going to do is called Katy and the big Snow.

Okay.... by this point you are probably wondering what this has to do with responsibility. Well, the theme of Katy and the big Snow is that Katy finally gets an opportunity to work and fulfill her responsibilities. As I was preparing the lessons and deciding how I would go about everything I realized that I should really get a concrete definition of what responsibility means. We use the word often with our boys, but I don't know that I have ever explained it to them.

I just couldn't come up with a defintion that I liked so I ended up lookiing it up in a dictionary. And then I had a blast from the past. I spent nearly every night in the 6th grade writing the word 'responsibility'. I had a teacher that would make the whole class write the word 500 times every time someone in class misbehaved.

I remember alot of writer's cramp that year.... but here is the sad part. I probably wrote that word over 10, 000 times in her class, but in a year's time she never took the time to fully explain what it means. We left knowing how to spell a word... which is great... but we had no clue what those letters stood for. Looking back, it seems like her time would have been better spent trying to help us to understand what true responsibility really meant.... personally, socially, corperately....

It seems like in our world there are way too many people that can spell it, but don't understand what it means.

fear

2008-01-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

I think that in the society that we live in today it is hard not to be overcome with fear. Everywhere you turn someone is bringing up some new thing that you hadn't ever thought of to be fearful about.

I have quite a few well intentioned friends that send me these 'must read' emails. They are about new ways to be carjacked and scammed. And then there are the ones where someone in some place you've never heard of has some random something happen... but everyone needs to be aware of it. This past Autumn I got an email about a kid that decided to pile up leaves and hide in them and his dad didn't know and ran over him with a truck.

You hear of children being abducted from their own yards.. and of insane people cutting babies out of pregnant women. You watch Oprah and realize that should your minivan wreck into a body of water that you are not prepared to rescue yourself and your kids. You watch the news and they tell you about meth that is made to look and taste like candy. Of course, I don't want some horrible thing to befall me or my family... but my goodness... the knowledge of all of the things that could possibly go wrong is insane. We can't eat spinach, because we might get food poisoning and die.... we can't play in the leaves, because we might get run over by a truck. on and on and on and on.

I tell myself that I trust the Lord with all my heart, yet when I watch Megadisasters or one of those shows about crazy natural disasters that maybe, possilby, might happen and I feel my anxiety level rise and my stress level shoot up.

Life is risky business and in the end.... no one gets out alive. But I think sometimes we should spend a little less time worrying and fretting about what 'could' happen and just live a little. God doesn't promise us that nothing bad will ever happen to us, but He does say that He will never give us more than we can bare, that He can use any situation to make us more like His Son, and that He will always be there with us... no matter what we go thru... to give us His peace and comfort.

So when I flip the channels and see the financial news talking about impending economic crisis or the weather channel talking up the next possible disaster, I just take a deep breath and realize that My Heavenly Father spoke the very planet on which I stand on into existence.... so I am in good hands.

learning to read

2008-01-14T13:43:00.000-05:00

I started 'officially' teaching the Banimal to read this morning. Scary thought. He has been asking me for a while and I told him he had to learn his letters and the sounds first. He accomplished that, so I went and bought the book I had decided to use.

Who would think that something that you learn to do in kindergarten could be that scary for me to teach. But I just keep thinking that everything he will do in his academic career will be built on this foundation. I hope that I don't let him down. But... after I thought it thru I calmed down a little. Most of the greatest minds were taught to read by their mothers and fathers who had little to no education themselves. So with that thought I embarked on this journey.

I was pretty uneventful this morning when I did his first lesson. He breezed thru it and I only had to correct him once. Even Pteradactyl boy jumped in and did the lesson with us. He is still working on recognizing his letters, but he got the hang of m and s as quickly as the Banimal. Who knows, maybe I'll kill two birds with one stone... so to speak. He may pick up alot as I teach the Banimal. That's the way its been with most everything else.

I was surprised at how well the adapted to the new schedule I came up with. But I did make it with them in mind. We do a 'sitting at the table being still activity' like learning to read followed by a 'moving around one' like playing games or doing chores. I think with both of them being so young still I would be shooting myself in the foot to do anything that required more than 15-20 mins of sitting still. I noticed the reading lesson took about 15 mins and towards the end they were fidgety.

Well, one day down..... thousands more to go.

MORE POLITICS

2008-01-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

I didn't watch much of the coverage on Iowa.... not that there wasn't enough. Every news channel is running their own little breakdown of what happened. I don't know that I really believe that it even matters that much what Iowa or New Hampshire or South Carolina... etc .... think. Those are just little fish bowls. I don't see how any of those states would come close to being representitive of the US as a whole.

Like I said in the previous post... I am not a democrat. But I do keep up with what is going on with our kooky counterparts. I still really think that Obama is the best of the bunch. I caught some snippets of his speeches and he is really gettng or he has a great speech writer... or both.

I can't wait to see what Hillary does over the next few weeks. She can see that Obama is a huge threat so I believe in true Hillary fashion she is going to show her fangs and go after him with negative attack ads. Which, in my opinion, is great, because it will sink her ship. Now from a purely republican stand point I hate to see her not get the nomination. I really think that if she is the dem nom that people will come out of the woodwork to vote against her which is great for the rep party.

I honestly don't know that I could sleep at night knowing that she is at the helm of the ship I am on. You know, its funny that I can't stand her now, because I used to just love her. Of course, at that time I was in college with no husband and no sons and I was a member of NOW (scary, huh?). My how things change.

As far as the rep. side of Iowa. There isn't much to say. One of the biggest contenders didn't even show up. So I don't know that what happened there even matters. Although, I did have one thought. I saw some footage of Huckabee jamming out on an electric guitar and it reminded me so much of another Governor of Arkansas that became President that played the saxophone. hhhhhmmmmm. Do you have to be musically inclined to get voted in to office there?

Politics......

2008-01-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

Yuck!!!! Man... what a depressing thought. I can't believe that it is election time.

Don't get me wrong... from a disconnected perspective I love politics. If I imagine that all of these less than stellar candidates will have no impact on my life... I love the whole process. But when I come back to reality and realize that one of these people will be making decision that will effect almost every area of my life.. that's when I get queezy.

From an unattached perspective the politicians antics and audacity is almost comical. They constantly change their views according to their audience.. .and in their minds they have no clue that anyone is really keeping track. They give these vague answers that really don't answer anything. And then you kick in all the personal stuff... the tabloid type news about them and its like a side show for your own personal entertainment and amusement.

BUT.... like I said, eventually reality comes crashing down on me and it hits me that in 10 months I am going to have to enter a voting both after alot of prayer and consideration and vote for one of these jokers. And then whoever the American public deems least likely to ruin us all will take office, eeeekkkk!!!! Its like a bad dream.

I am typically not a Democrat, but I will vote for whatever party I feel best represents me. So I'll start there.....

Hillary Clinton... The thought of that woman running our country runs cold shivers down my spine. Alot of people are under the impression that women will vote for her just because she is a woman. I think that is insulting. And most women I know don't really have any warm fuzzy feelings when it comes to her. I think that Bill was pretty low down in alot of ways, but I think he had alot of personality. Even though, he was far from perfect people could identify with him. Hillary has about as much personality as a Stepford wife.

Barack Obama.... Now even though I don't plan on voting for him I could sleep at night should he become President. I don't agree with alot of his ideas, but I feel that he is thoughtful and does want to make a better America. But on the downside.... I don't know if he has the kind of experience to make the cut. And then there is the fact that he isn't a good ole white boy. To me, it should not make a difference. And the PollyAnna side of me would like to think that most Americans would feel the same way... but I am not so sure that is the case. Sad to say.

Oh yeah... I can't forget my sort of fellow North Carolinian, John Edwards. He has nice hair.... well, that about concludes all I have to say about him. I just don't think he can get it done. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise me.

Then we have the republicans.....

Its even more sad....and I am one, so that is scary

Rudy Gulliani... I am not sure about him I think he would probably make a good vice-Pres. But I am just not sure about him being the man. His platform mainly seems to be playing on peoples sentiment from 9-11. I guess his actions during that time show that he is good under pressure... but the Pres has more to tackle than just terrorism... although that is pretty important.

Mitt Romney...I kind of like him, but I am not 100% sure that I could vote for him. I can't really get a feel for how everyone really feels about him being LDS. I have alot of Christian friends that believe that its a deal breaker. But living here in the Bible belt its hard to gauge how the rest of the country really feels about that. I have seen his nice looking family with him in their perfect pictures, but I haven't heard a whole lot about how he really feels about the big issues.

And then there is Fred Thompson... he could have went all the way, but now that the writer's strike is happening I think he is sunk. hheehhe!!!!!!! I think if he is going to do anything he is going to have to muster up a heck of a lot more enthusiasm than he has in the past few months. He might make an okay vp as well.

And how could I forget Mr. Huckabee. I am going to have to do a little more research before I make a comment on him. I am just not sure how I feel about him.

And then their is Ron Paul. I have to say ... I kind of like the guy... in a crazy, sort of demented way. He is really a liberatarian dressed up in Rep clothes. I am not sure if he thinks everyone has forgotten about his past go at it. I don't think he has a snow balls chance at being elected but I sure do like to muse about life under lib. rule. No IRS... No federal gov... it just brings a smile to my face..... oh wait... what was that I heard... oh man... it was reality knocking at my door. Okay, I am over the whole smiling thing.

Man, that is a depressing list. and I haven't even really began to think about state and local politcs...ugh.

But I can take heart, because I know that no matter what becomes of this whole political mess that the Lord is in control.

2008-01-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the
Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but
this is what they heard;

'Heavenly Father
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guid ance.
We know Your Word says,
'Woe to those who call evil good'
But that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn
and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.
We have abused power
And called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's
Possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression
We have ridiculed the time
Honored values of our
Forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God,
And know our hearts today;
Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.

Amen!'

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked Out
during the prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is
pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 Of those
calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international
requests for copies of this prayer from India ,Africa and Korea .

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, 'The
Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program
than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our Nation and
wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'one
nation under God.'

2007-11-29T20:04:00.000-05:00

I had the wierdest thing happen the other day. A very good friend of mine has been having some strange symptoms. She is definately not a hypochondriac or the type of person that complains about the little stuff. So for her to even say anything really got my attention.

She beat around the bush for a few days, but finally told me what she was thinking. She thought that she might possibly have ovarian cancer. Woah!!! She was in tears thinking about what would happen to her kids and so on. I was just in shock. She is the kind of person that is really in tune with herself and I knew she wouldn't even say it out loud unless that was really what she thought.

She was going to go in to the doctor the next day to have an ultrasound to see and she asked me to pray for her. I began praying that evening, but it was different. I hate to say this, but I just had a different intensity. I felt guilty... I should be praying for every need with that kind of focus and intensity. I started to pray and naturally I prayed that this would not be so... and if it were so that God would do a miracle and just take this away... but this is where it got wierd....

I began to think back over the past. A year or so ago our pastor read from a journal of a lady that passed away from cancer. And in her journal in her dying moments she said that she was thankful for the cancer.. yes, you heard me right... thankful. It had given her such focus and clarity. She loved her family better. She loved the Lord better. Everything she did, she did at a greater level . She said that if given the opportunity to go back and change things that she would choose this same path. And not to long ago I spoke with someone who was terminally ill with cancer and they said the same thing.

I had this moment where I really didn't know what to pray. I know that God says that He wants to give us the desires of our heart, so it isn't wrong to ask for something. But I also know that sometimes God sends us down a path that we would never choose in order to bring about the change He has promised to complete in us... to be like His Son.

I am not sure what the answer is, but I know that God knows our hearts and He understands us better than we understand ourselves and in Romans 8:26 it says that "the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." So for that I am thankful. The sovereignty of God is a mind boggling thing...but I am so thankful that I can count on it even though I can't completely get my head wrapped around it.

By the way, she had the tests and there is no cancer. God is good... but even if there had been it wouldn't change His goodness. It's like the song 'Bring the rain' says..... "can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?."

The BIG 50!!!!

2007-11-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

Mr Clean recently hit the BIG 50!!!! He seems to be taking in stride, but I expected nothing less. He is definately not deficient in the self esteem department. The kids have enjoyed running through the house yelling. "OH NO..... THE BIG 50!!!!" constantly. I think I may have had a hardest time with it .

The other day I was teasing him and said, "I don't know if I am okay with having a 50 year old husband. When I married you ... you were 45 and I guess I thought you would just remain that age forever."
And in true Mr Clean fashion he turned to me with a smirky little smile (that always means I am about to get zinged) and said, 'Yeah... when I married you ...you were a twenty something year old... Now you are 32 plus you have had two kids. Iimagine how I feel....." Bam... I shouldn't play with fire if I am not willing to get burned.

Normally that would be the point where I would get mad, huff, and then sulk all day, but I asked for that one... plain and simple.

However, I can't say that I completely let it go without a small measure of revenge. I thoroughly enjoyed making the call to the doctor's offce to set up his yearly check-up.....knowing that at age 50 every man needs to have a colonoscopy...... heehhheeee... we will see who gets the last laugh....

GREAT JOY

2007-11-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

It's wierd... I have been looking back over my blog and I see a pattern... I guess I am more of a winter time blogger. I really enjoy it when I do it, but I guess I just get seriously sidetracked when its nice and sunny outside. Not to mention that fact that I have two very 'active' boys. I can't make it if I don't let them run loose outside some during the day. But I am glad to be back blogging for now. Its been neat to check back in on blogs I haven't read in a long time.

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is over and that we are on the countdown til Christmas. Every year we scale back more and more on the commercial side of Christmas and focus more and more on the true meaning... and I enjoy Christmas more and more each year that we do.

Here is a Christmas thought for you.....

Luke 2:10.... Then the angel said to them, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.

The good tidings or good news was that the Savior was born. In Matthew 1:21, it says about Mary that she 'will bring forth a Son and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.' We all have sin. We are born with a sinful nature and none of us can do anything about it own our own. Ephesians 2:8 says For by grace we have been saved through faith not of works lest any man should boast.. But that is the beauty of it all.

We are a sinful people in need of a Savior and that is exactly what God gave us thru this tiny baby born to Mary.
He grew into a sinless man that died on the cross so that we might be reconciled with God.. 2 Cor 5:21... For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

The greek root of the phrase "great joy" means a calm delight or a sense of satisfaction. In the world in which we live people have more and accomplish more and are exposed to more than people ever have been in history...yet we are not satisfied. We are looking for "great joy" in all the wrong places.... in relationships, material possessions, jobs, hobbies, our kids, etc...

Some of us seek satisfaction through our own efforts of trying to be "good" and do "good". But in Isaiah 64:6 it says that our righteousness is like filthy rags . So nothing we can do in our own strength and ability will stand when exposed to the holiness of God.

In Luke 2:14, it says 'Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men'. Christ brings us peace. He brings us the only peace that lasts. God wants us to be at peace with Him by accepting Christ and His work on the cross. And when we are at peace or reconciled with God then He can give us His peace which surpasses all understanding.

When God gives us His peace we can go thru anything, no matter how difficult or impossible it may seem with satisfaction and contentment in our lives. He can give us a peace that doesn't depend on our situation or circumstances here.

GOD TAKES BROKEN PIECES AND GIVES US AN UNBROKEN PEACE.

And if you will notice in verse 10 it says that these good tidings of great joy will be to ALL PEOPLE.... not just a few or some, but ALL.. Salvation through Christ Jesus is for everyone. He died for every single one of us not just the best of us or the ones of us who seem to have it fairly "all together". But also for those who can't seem to ever get it together... those that struggle with addictions and habits that hold us in bondage. Salvation is for anyone who would believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay for their sins.

And if you will notice in Luke 2:15, what did they do next after hearing this great news? They began to look for Jesus. My prayer for all is that we will be looking for "great joy" in all the right places not only this holiday season but throughout the year. ------Seek and you will find.....( Matthew 7:7)

2007-11-21T15:17:00.000-05:00

Man, it has been a while.

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving....one of my most favorite times of year.

I have so much to be thankful for.... don't we all. I think living here in America we tend to think we don't have much, but when you take a real look around we are in the land of plenty. We get so wrapped up in keeping up with the Jones's. We have a mindset that we don't have enough when in truth we have too much. We have so much that our attics and garages can't contain it all and we have to rent storage spaces. We have no clue how much we have.

I look around in the world and I see people dying every day from diseases that are caused by filthy living conditions, no clean water, and a lack of food.. It is insane to think that I flush more water down the toilet in a day than alot of folks have to drink in a week. .... Yet at times I find myself thinking that I don't have enough... imagine that. We are so sheltered to the reality of day to day life for so many.

On the other hand, I think we are seriously deficient in some areas. Look at all that we have been blessed with and how God has provided for us as a nation and yet we turn our backs to Him. We are in love with the gifts and not the giver alot of times. And we are willing to be partakers in the good times, but we aren't willing to suffer... at all. We are a nation that wants what they want right when they want it. We aren't willing to work hard and perservere. We just do whatever gratifies us at the moment.

I think of all the generations in the past that have sacrificed so that we can have the freedom and the lives that we have and instead of appreciating and cherishing it we have destroyed it. But that's a rant for another day... heeheee.

I always find that my grattitude is greater around Thanksgiving. I try to sustain that attitude through out the rest of the year, but it wanes from time to time when.I get caught up in consumerism and myself. But each year I grow in the Lord and each year I know Him better and the more I know Him the more I am thankful for ALL that He has done.

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His love and mercy endures forever.

2007-03-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

Wow... I just have to take a little time to say what a wonderful and mighty and majestic and loving God we serve.

I became a Christian at the age of thirteen and then after about a year I began to backslide. I spent the next 14 yrs rebelling against God. I have often wondered now that I have a close relationship with God again why I let Him go in the first place. The only answer that I can come up with is that I really didn't know Him. I didn't spend time in His word and in prayer. And slowly I began to turn from Him. It wasn't a radical decision. It was a thousand little compromises that I made on a daily basis that didn't seem to be a "big deal" at the time.

I am so thankful that God remains faithful to us even when we aren't faithful to Him. And I am so thankful that God allowed my bad decisions and their consequences to catch up with me in a way that got my attention and brought me back to Him.

The love I have for Him and the appreciation that I have for the sacrifice that He made so that I can have a relationship with Him is so much more than it could have ever been if I hadn't gone thru all the experiences that I did. I can see how God is taking my mistakes and turning them into wonderful oppertunities for me to minister to others. Only a sovereign God could turn negatives into positives.

I feel like I have discovered my first love.. like it talks about in Revelations. I was like the church at Ephesus. I left my first love, Jesus Christ. And now I have had to repent and do my first works (Rev 4:4-5). I am so thankful that I have made it back to this place. I haven't felt this energized and excited in years. I can see that God is changing me daily and I am so excited to see what comes next.

I have been reading the 107th Psalm alot lately.... it means so much to me. It describes exactly what I have been thru....

Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons--
Because they rebelled against the words of God,
and despised the counsel of the Most High,
Therefore He brought down there hearts with labor,
They fell down and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them from their distresses.
He brought them out of the darkness and the shadow of death,
And He broke their chains in pieces.
Oh that men woud give thanks to the Lord for his goodness.

...... Fools because of their transgression,
and because of their iniquities were afflicted....

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble.
And He saved them out of their distresses,
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness.
Psalms 107:10-21

GOD IS GOOD... ALL THE TIME!!!
AND ALL THE TIME .... GOD IS GOOD!!!!

yo-yos

2006-11-24T14:42:00.000-05:00

I read a book several months back called How to Make your Kids Mind without Losing Yours. A friend of mine loaned it to me. About halfway thru the book there was a chapter on yo-yo parenting. As I read the paragraphs I knew that was me to a tee. One day I am super strict. The next day I let everything slide. Then the next I am somewhere in between. It all depends on my mood, what I have been doing, how much pressure I am under, and whether I have been reading my bible and spending quiet time in prayer, etc, etc. Sometimes I wonder if my kids think they are living with the Three Faces of Eve.

Yo-yo is a term that could apply to almost every area of my life. Consistency eludes me. Sometimes I am just so faithful when it comes to spending my free time reading the bible and I get up early and do my prayer time and I feel great... but then for no apparent reason I fall away and I realize that it has been days since I have really prayed. I generally say little prayers all thru the day, but I am talking about carving out quiet time to meditate on God's word and really seek Him.

The same applies to my marriage. I go for long period of time where my husband is on my priority list where he should be and then...bam... things get busy or hectic and I realized that its been days since I have given him a decent hug and kiss or given him any affection at all. I just get so wrapped up in the minute to minute caretaking of kids and the home that I forget he is even there.

It seems like in every area of my life I run hot and cold. I really want to be more consistent. I know that there isn't a magic potion or spell for consistency. I have a sneaking suspicion that like everything in life it requires that I be more aware and not just living in the moment and that I do the work to accompliish it.

Sometimes I look at all the work I have to do and feel so overwhelmed. But then I come to my senses and realize that all I have to do is turn them over to God and then be willing to follow His direction. And instead of feeling overwhelmed I feel excited to see how He will work in my life. I know how far He has already brought me and I know that He is committed to finish the work that He has started in me.

Happy Turkey-day!!!

2006-11-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

Well, it is finally here.... Thanksgiving.....I am stuffed to the gills. One dinner down... one to go. I went to Mr.Clean's family dinner today at lunch time. And tonight we go to my family dinner. I will fast for the remainder of the week and exercise diligently to undo the damage I've done today....Nah... I don't have the self discipline for that.

I took two new recipes today. Well, one is a revamped old recipe. The revamped one was potato casserole..it has hashbrown, cheese, sour cream, and cream of mushroom. I decided to add some bacon to it. I love loaded potatoes or cheese fries with bacon. I don't eat them, but maybe once a year if that, but I sure do love 'em. The bacon made it so much better. I might experiment next time with adding a little ranch mix or dressing. I am determined to have a recipe of my own that everyone begs me to bring. (I am the youngest sister in law, so everyone else has there 'thing' that they do best and bring already.)

The other thing that I took was a peppermint patty cake. I don't like peppermint patties, personally, but Mr. Clean does. I just used a really decadent recipe for chocolate cake and then put a mixture of cool whip, chocolate pudding and some peppermint extract between the layers. Then I iced it with chocolate icing with peppermint extract mixed in and then just garnished the outside with chopped up peppermint patties. It was a huge hit. Next time I might use Andes mints instead of the peppermint patties. They were sticky and hard to chop up even when they were cold.

Enough food talk.... In the spirit of Thanksgiving I'm going to do a top ten list.
What I am thankful for.....

1. God and His plan for salvation ( I could go on and on here.) His mercy, kindness... the fact that He created the universe and everything in it an yet He still wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. The fact that He loved us so much even though we are sinful and flawed that He sent His only begotten Son to come to earth and go thru temptations and suffer and ultimately die on a cross for our sins.

2. My wonderful hubby. Each day I love him more and more. He is such a good man and loving husband and terrific father to our boys and great provider.

3. My wild and rambuncious little boys. They are the light of my life. They are so much work, but it is so worth every minute of it and every 'sacrifice' that I've ever made. I can't imagine my life without them. They have been a true blessing from God. He has used them to bring my closer to Him and understand Him more.

4.Our health. My hubby, kids, and I have been blessed with good health. I am so appreciative of the fact that we are all well.

5. My friends and extended family. It is such a blessing to have so many people that care about me and that I care about. I think about how lonely people must be when they have no family.

6. My home. Our home is a really old home and its really small.... but its cozy, warm, and homey. We have a brand new couch that I have been wanting for a few years now. So we have a great new place to pile up with the kids and read.... and in a few weeks watch all of the old Christmas movies on ABC family channel.

7.My mini-van. I am so thankful that we were able to get a van after the birth of #2. It has made my life so much easier. I could nurse and change diapers in the car. Mr. Clean's parents are old and not able to drive themselves. Now that we have the van, we have room for them and us. And that makes it so much easier for them.

8. My church. I am so thankful that we go to a great church and have a great pastor. We have so many friends that have kids the same age as ours that we've met thru church. Our church has given me the oppertunity to teach a women's group and I love every minute of it.

9. Our neighbors. We live in a great neighborhood where everyone looks out for each other. And all of our neighbors are friendly.

10. I am thankful that I was born and raised here in the mountains and that I am still able to live here. These mountains are a comfort to me. When we go on vacation, even though I enjoy it, when we drive up the interstate and the flat lands start to roll and I see those big, beautiful mountains in the distance.... I know everything is okay and that I am home. I have seen lots of beautiful places, but none I would trade for the Appalachian mountains.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. And may God bless you.

blogger beta

2006-11-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

I switched over to the blogger beta the other day. I like it, but it just makes it way to easy to change my blog template. I have dial up internet, unfortunately... so it is pretty darn slow. But now it takes just a few seconds to change the colors and the template. Not good. I am extremely indecisive. I may have a different looking blog every day.

Christmas Plans

2006-11-20T15:11:00.001-05:00

The holidays are upon us. I can already feel the pressure mounting. I am doing better each year about getting rid of things that don't work for our family and adding in more traditions that do. Some of this tweeking is a little upsetting to extended family, but....that's the way the cookie crumbles.

This year I think our Christmas Eve tradition of going to my grandparent's house is going to get the ax. I have given it alot of thought and I really think that it is for the best. My grandma passed away four years ago and my grandpa hasn't decorated or had the meal at his house since. It is now at my mom's house. We don't usually get home until late and the kids wake up cranky on Christmas morning. --We are going to invite my grandpa down for a special dinner of his own with us on the 23rd that we still get to see him.

This year we are going to stay at home and start a tradition of our own. We are going to make a special meal. Not really sure what... but something out of the ordinary for the kids so it will be memorable. And then we are going to read the Christmas story and talk about the true meaning of Christmas. I am determined to put Christ back as the focus of our Christmas. I would like to find a Christmas cartoon or something of that nature that we could pile up and watch.

We have also added another new tradition this year on tree decorating day. This year we are going to buy each of the boys a new ornament that symbolizes something that has been important to them and let them open them at the end of decorating. So that will be the last ornament on the tree.

I am also looking for an advent calendar or coloring book or something of that nature so that we can talk about something Christmas related each day leading up to Christmas. I am going to use it instead of the devotional that I usually use with the kids each day.

I am really looking foward to Christmas this year. Despite some ruffled feathers, I think it will be the best Christmas ever.

watching a train wreck from the sidelines

2006-11-14T14:52:00.000-05:00

There is nothing I hate worse than watching someone I love make very bad decisions. I wish sometimes that I could just let younger girls spend a day in my head and learn from some of the completely stupid mistakes that I have made.

I know that my mistakes aren't for nothing... I, at least, have learned from them. But man, its been a long, hard road to get to where I am today. It just kills me to see someone else starting out on that road. I have a relative that just turned 18 and she quit school and she's in love with a guy that may not be so great for her. Not that he is a bad guy, its just that he doesn't seem very mature. I understand the attraction.... believe me. That whole no one pays attention to you so the first guy that really shows you any interest at all you latch onto for dear life and pray that it never ends I get it. That was me at that age.

Its funny to think back on my first 'real' relationship... I say that with a hint of sarcasm. He was a complete idiot. I say that in the very nicest way possible. But at the time, I thought that he was the greatest. I even accepted an engagement ring from him at the tender age of 19. eeekkk... I would never survive raising a daughter.

At the time I thought that our love would never end and that he was my everything. But life has a way of happening and eventually I woke up and realized that he wasn't even close to my anything... much less my everything.

At that age I thought I was so smart and so mature. But in retrospect... sitting here at the ripe ole age of 31 I see just how childish I still was. Not not mention niave and oblivious. I didn't have a clue. I don't think I really started to even get a clue until I was in my late 20's. And even now I am sure that when I am 40, I'll look back at 30 and think, 'man, look how much further I've come.' Its just a shame that you can't take some of your maturity and experience and transplant it into someone else.

I guess when you are watching a train wreck from the sidelines all you can do is pray. So that is what I will do. I know that God got thru to me....eventually. And that all things are possible with Him.

(....all you can do is pray.... I guess my own lack of faith or whatever you would call it shows thru sometimes. When I reread my post and saw that statement, I realized how foolish I can be. I said it like that is a last resort when I have ran out of human options then I'll go to God. God is still working on me. That should be my first response and my most important response to any situation. )

....

If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our
power to give them, and this will lead us to prayer: Intercession is a way of
loving others.--Richard J. Foster

gotta pee?

2006-11-13T15:48:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I took the kids to town to run some errands. We had been on the go all morning long and I really had not given much thought to the fact that the Banimal had not gone to the bathroom ALL morning long. (Even though I strive to be SUPER MOM, I am far from it) We were loading the groceries in the car and getting ready to head home when the Banimal started doing the pee-dance. You know, hopping back and forth from one foot to the other and yelling in a whiney tone of voice....'MMMMMOOOOOMMMMM, I've gotta ppppeeeeeee!!!'

Okay, okay, I get it. I knew he was in critical condition and time was limited. I turned around to unfasten Pterydactyl boy and take him out of his carseat. I knew we were going to have to haul it to make it all the way to the back of the grocery store where the bathrooms were located. When I got him out and looked back at the Banimal, he already had his pants around his ankles and his little willey was shining for the world to see.

I calmed down and thought, 'okay.. this isn't that bad... he is just a little boy... no big deal...' But just as I was thinking 'no big deal' he started to pee.... unfortunately we were parked right next to the buggy drop off and the Banimal was whizzing all over the buggies. Due to the fact that he had held it ALL morning, he had quite a little stream going. So he was able to wet both lines of buggies.

There were a couple of little old ladies staring with their mouths wide open. I was just standing there like an idiot holding Pteradactyl boy. What could I do at that point? The damage was done.

I learned several things that morning that I don't intend to forget.
1. No matter what is going on..... always ask the Banimal if he needs to pee every hour on the hour when we are out.
2. Always wipe down the grocery cart with the antibacterial wipes provided at the store.
3. Even though I will wipe the buggy down.... I will always put my produce in a bag before putting it in the buggy.

My mission

2006-11-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

My mission this month... which was inspired by Thanksgiving... is to give a card or some small token of thanks to all the people that have influenced my life in a positive way. I got a note the other day from a girl I know from a book club I am in and she just told me how my friendship had been a blessing to her. And it just made me feel so great to know that I was able to touch someone.

I pray that God will use me and lots of times I really don't see it happening. Or I am not aware when I am smack-dab in the middle of His will. I say things and do things and I walk away and forget about them and never realize what an impact that it made. Now that works for good and bad. But we are always more focused on falling short. But it was nice to know that I had done something good and uplifting and helpful.

So, I thought what a great thing to do for the people that have been there for me. I kind of have a list in my head of the people that I want to do this for. Today I put something together for a gal in my Wednesday night bible study. She is always so upbeat and you can just feel the joy radiating out of her. Not just happy, but joyful. You know the kind of Paul-like joy. Not happy because everything is going perfectly, but joy because she has found the secret to life. She always thinks to compliment people and say words of appreciation. She is someone that I have learned a great deal from and I hope that this little gift just lets her know that people notice her acts of kindness.

Next on my list is my childhood sunday school teachers. I haven't seen them in years. I don't go to the church I did as a child. But both those ladies had such a profound impact on my life. The first one was my teacher when I was a preschooler thru about kindergarten or 1st grade. She didn't have any kids and she was so excited to see us coming each week. I felt so important to her and so loved. She taught me the simple lessons, the basics. I still have the children's bible that she gave me.

The other lady was my teacher from about fourth grade to middle school. She was there when I gave my life to Christ. And I don't think that I would have made that decision without her loving guidance. She exhibited true fruits of the spirit. I read a book recently called Naked Fruit and there was a line from it that said that 'fruit is what markets God to a hungry world.' I think that seeing her fruit is what gave me a hunger for God.

I didn't see that at home. But to my mom's credit she did take me to church faithfully. So without her putting me there physically I would have never came in contact with these ladies. God is giving me a heart of love for her and I am going to let her know how much I appreciate her taking me to church so that I could be apart of all of that. My unforgiveness for her is slowly and I do mean slowly melting away.

Well, the election is over...

2006-11-08T14:36:00.000-05:00

It's finally over... for good or for bad... I am not so sure yet. I hope everyone got out there and let their voice be heard. I am a firm believer in voting.... you can't sit around and complain if you don't . And while I don't like to complain in general... politics and government just bring it out in me.

This year I felt more than ever a nagging sense of doom as I went into the voting booth. I am conservative for the most part but I don't really consider myself a republican. However, the idea of Nancy Pelosi coming to 'power' makes me more comfortable than ever with the title of 'republican.' But anyway... this year I had to make a tough decision between Heath Shuler, an unknown enitity and democrat, and Charles Taylor, the most corrupt man in congress. I have always kind of known about the allegations, but this year they were more in my face. So reluctantly I voted for Shuler. I felt kind of guilty afterwards... but my husband relieved my guilt. Since he voted for Taylor, he basically cancelled me out. I guess my guilt for voting against him came from the fact that he has done so much for the veterans in our area and the fact that he had seniority. Oh well, Shuler won so now we get to see what he is all about.

I was happy to see that alot of the democratic candidates that won were more moderate than they have been the last few years. I was also excited to see an independent win (Joe Leberman). I was not so happy, as I stated earlier, about Nancy Pelosi. And Hilary Clinton winning again didn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. To me those women are just examples of people who are just driven by their own political motives with no heart or concern for the people they serve. Well, I guess that really discribes 99.9% of the people in government. ooops. I am all for a woman president, even possibly a democratic woman president, but not Hilary.

My prayer and hope for the 2008 election is that all the good candidates that have been trying to decide whether or not to run will miraculously come out of the woodwork. And that there will be people that I look foward to voting for. I am so tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.

Chrismas is coming...

2006-11-06T15:40:00.000-05:00

If you don't believe me... just look at your local Walmart. They tore down the Halloween stuff on Halloween day and started putting up Christmas things. I am not sure what ever happened to Thanksgiving. You know that pesky little holiday meant for giving thanks. I guess telling God you are thankful doesn't require Walmart so they just move right on to the big daddy shopping holiday.

I found this quote that pertains to Christmas....

One response was given by the innkeeper when Mary and Joseph wanted to find
a room where the Child could be born. The innkeeper was not hostile; he was not
opposed to them, but his inn was crowded; his hands were full; his mind was
preoccupied. This is the answer that millions are giving today. Like a
Bethlehem innkeeper, they cannot find room for Christ. All the
accommodations in their hearts are already taken up by other crowding
interests. Their response is not atheism. It is not defiance. It is preoccupation
and the feeling of being able to get on reasonably well without Christianity.

Billy Graham

Here is hoping that Jesus finds room in my inn this year. I love every part of Christmas, the true meaning, as well, the Santa part. But every year I try a little harder to make sure that the true meaning isn't shoved aside for the Santa part and all the parties and shopping.

It is sometimes hard to make that commitment to seek and find God on a daily basis and then you throw in a thousand other distractions in and it seems almost impossible. But, man is He worth it. To feel God's love and peace in the middle of the insanity is ssooo worth it. And in a season of thankfulness and gift giving how could we forget to be thankful for the greatest gift ever given.

Grateful heart

2006-10-29T16:45:00.000-05:00

Thou who hast given so much to me, give me one more thing - a grateful heart!

George Herbert

Man, do I need to work on this. I read an interesting article a couple of weeks ago about the two different types of gratitude. One is the 'thanks God for all the stuff you've given me and the blessings in my life' and the other is 'thanks God for being God.' Boy, do I need to work on the later.

I am thankful when it comes to thanking God for His blessings in my life. But how shallow and self-centered to just stop there. I began to think about the idea of thanking God for just being who He is. I realized that I could go on and on.

Thank you for sending your precious only Son to die on a cross for a world who despised Him.... and the ones who didn't despise Him are like me... just shallow humans with a flawed sin nature that are incapable of fully appreciating such a gift.

Thank you for being merciful and full of grace.

Thank you for loving me and giving me your best when I deserve the worst.

Thank you for being a GOd of second, third, forth... etc.... chances.

Thank you for creation and all of the beautiful things in it.

Can you think of anything to be thankful for? Maybe we should all spend more time cultivating a heart of gratitude.

IIIII'MMMM Baaaccckkk!!!!

2006-10-28T14:47:00.000-04:00

Well, it feels good to blog again. It's been a long time. I guess now that the cold weather is setting back in I'll have alot more computer time.

Well, I guess I should do a summer recap..... hhhmmmm.... not much to recap.

Hubby and I took the kids to the beach. The Banimal... who is now a little boy and not a baby ...wha..whaa... tears.... is an official beach bum. He would have just moved to the beach. He tends to be a little sensitive and easily scared, but he was fearless at the beach. He would let the waves crash over his head and carry him out. We had to grab him a few times. He also puked a few times. Poor kid has the easiest gag reflex of anyone I have ever met. He'd get a big mouth of sand and ocean water and then blluuuckk.. Okay, everybody.... load up and move a few feet up the beach. He wasn't ready to leave and now he is already begging to go back. Pteradactyl boy loved it too. He was pretty fearless, as well.

Let's see... what else... Well, I am back to my fighting wieght and I feel great. I am going to run a 5k race next year. That is my goal, at least. I am not so sure why I am enamored with running.. I have always hated it. I have always been of the opinion that running should only be done if you are being chased by some kind of rabid animal or axe-weilding psycho. But over the last few months I have changed my mind.

I personally think that it has to do with being couped up in the house with screaming kids. When my kids are fussy and fighting and screaming.. in my mind all I can think about is Forrest Gump..... yep, you read it right... Forrest Gump. You know the part of the movie where he 'ran and ran and ran and then one day he just stopped.' I can just envision leaving my screaming children... in a safe place, of course... and just running and running until I just run out of steam. In my current condtiion I might be able to make it to the end of the street. I guess I wouldn't even have to call Grandma for that one. But hopefully, by spring I will be doing a 5k.

2006-05-01T15:04:00.000-04:00

I can see now that my blogger status is going to be seasonal. I had alot of fun reading blogs and writing my own, but now that the weather has broken and the sun has started to shine I can't possibly sit in the office on the computer. It is like punishment to sit here in the dungeon and look out at the beautiful day.(My blogging time is in the afternoon when the boys are asleep)

I guess since I don't have a following and since I do this mainly for my own amusement I can not-blog guilt-free. I am going to start taking rainy days and keeping up with all the blogs I used to check out. I miss reading everyone's posts.

I guess alot has happened since I posted last. I survived the trauma of my baby turning 1 yr old. I held a newborn baby and didn't feel the need to get pregnant again. So that's a good thing. I got pregnant with Pteradactyl boy when the Banimal was about 14 mos old. I look at them both now and I can't believe that I thought that the Banimal was big enough for me to have another baby. Well, lesson learned. If there are anymore siblings they will (God willing) be a few more years down the road.

Pteradactyl boy is walking and climbing and getting into absolutely everything. It is much worse than I remembered. I think its worse because now when Pteradactyl boy can't figure out how to get into something he has a very helpful older brother. So they get into some interesting situations together.

I am ready for a beach trip. This weather has me jonesing to go to the beach. AAHHHHH.... the salty wind.... warm water.... sand between my toes..... But reality check... being a landscaper's wife means that there will be no beach trip because this is busy season. Oh well, I am determined to have my beach trip this year... sometime.

Well.... I am going to go and soak up some sun for a few minutes before the wild ones wake from their slumber full of energy and raring to go.

2006-04-12T15:41:00.000-04:00

This was just to good to pass up. Poor bunny.

My favorite Picture

2006-04-07T14:37:00.000-04:00

I

have searched high and low for this photo. I thought I had lost

it. It is me when I was about 3 or 4 yrs old. I reorganized my

office and went thru a bunch of papers. This is me to a tee.

Crazy daze

2006-03-25T15:34:00.000-05:00

Man, things have been crazy here at home. Mr Clean is working alot which leaves me and the boys at home. By the time he gets home they are running for the door. He thinks that it is just that they miss him so much... well, it is in part, but I think they are just running away from me. Two cranky kids and a cranky moma doesn't equal happy days. The Banimal has started to cry when he dad leaves in the morning so that gets the day of to a wonderful start. It doesn't take him too long to calm down, but by then the baby is tired so he kicks in.

I am ready for summer. We need to get outside and air out. The kids and I are always in better moods when we go outside everyday. We had some great weather a couple of weeks ago, but yesterday it was snowing and today its just yucky and cold. Well, hopefully we won't have too much more winter to endure.

Next Wednesday we are loading up and going to see Carebears live. Won't that be so exciting. If I don't post for a few days you will know that all the small kids got together and started a rebellion and the mom's didn't make it out alive.

What is up with the Carebears making a comeback. They were popular when I was a kid. The cartoon came on Saturday mornings.... I think. I never was a big Carebear kind of girl. But now kids are crazy about them again. They don't even watch the show. I think you can by videos, but to the best of my knowledge, they don't come on tv. The Banimal has never seen them before. The tickets were cheap and a bunch of his little buddies were going so I figured "what the heck." I may live to regret that decision.

Well, that about sums up my very exciting life. Hopefully next time I post I will be in a better blogging frame of mind.
Oh, btw, check out the blinkies. I am so totally addicted to them. They are like cheesy bumper stickers for your blog. Cool, huh?

2006-03-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

I have started drawing again. Its something that I used to do and really enjoy. Now that the boys are getting a little bigger I have a little more free time. So.... here is my first masterpiece... hehheheeehee!

Supermom!!!!

2006-03-16T15:07:00.000-05:00

I try not to compare myself to other people, but on occasion I catch myself, in true female fashion, dragging out a check list to see how I stack up against the competetion (other moms). Most of the time I feel I am about even with most of my friends. We all have strange little quirks and our house aren't immaculate all the time and we have a few extra pounds of baby fat to loose, but not much.

But there is one friend that we completely exclude when we do the checklist. She is SUPERMOM. She has four kids and a week and a half after giving birth to the last one by cesearian section she had the newborn and the toddler at McDonald's. I have only had two kids and after having the second, I didn't leave the house alone for months. And to add insult to injury.... she was wearing her pre-pregnancy jeans. UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH@!!!!!!!! the nerve.

Her house is always clean. And her husband works alot of hours, so I find this even more amazing. I can never get anything accomplished when Mr Clean isn't here to watch the kids. I have conferred with other moms and we are convinced that she has a tiny migrant worker that lives in a closet and she only brings her out to clean and cook when no one is around (kind of like on Desperate Housewives.)

Mr Clean constantly teases me about her, because he knows how fascinated and perplexed I am by her. He tells me that when she is done with all her daily chores and she has put her 4 kids to bed she slips out of bed and into the bathroom and changes into her superhero costume and flies across the city saving people in distress. Well, all I have to say is come look at my kitchen. I am in distress....Come save me!!!!!

I really think she should write and book and enlighten the rest of us. I know there is some trick or magic to it. At least I hope there is. I am afraid the truth is something I am not going to like..... maybe... the reason she is so thin is because she works so hard all day and burns off what little calories she takes in. And with 4 kids under 6 she probably doesn't have time to eat very much. I like eating. I don't like working very hard...if I can help it..... I'll just hang on to the hope that its magic.

2006-03-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

This is my brother, Jason. ( I just realized how funny this looks with the baby pic and then the wedding photo. You might be a redneck if... you marry your sister. Not hardly. We don't live that far back in the mountains. I am proud to say that Mr Clean is of no relation to me. But anywho... I'll save close kin marriages for another post. I just don't have any other photos of him. He is never around. I am really actually surprised that he came to my wedding . I am even more surprised that he wore a tie and had his picture made.) The other picture is of us when he was about 9 mos old.

I really can't believe that as much as I abused him when he was a kid that he has anything to do with me now. I still watch my back when he is around. He says all is forgiven, but I am not so sure. I used to pinch him and then threaten his life if he thought about telling Mom. But I wouldn't let anyone else pick on him. In fact, in the 6 th grade I got thrown off the school bus for 3 days because I come across two seats and punched this idiot in the head for calling him "fat" and making him cry. I was the only one allowed to abuse him.

He is a very funny guy. In fact, he is one of the funniest people I know. He can make a trip to the grocery store side splitting hillarious. Really he doesn't say much that isn't funny. He will even turn some terrible, tragic event into a funny story after the fact.

I worry about him though. He just turned 26 and he is still at home with my parents. I hope my parents live a long, healthy life, because when they die he IS NOT coming to live with us. He is way to messy. I think that the constant exposure to my mother for the last 26 yrs has taken its toll on him. Who knows if he will ever move out and be able to work his way back towards sanity. As long as she does everything for him, I seriously doubt he will even try.

But anyway.....Happy Birthday, Jason!!!!

2006-03-14T15:14:00.000-05:00

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

2006-03-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

Wanted: Female single or married between the ages of 50-65 that is interested in adopting a 30 yo daughter. Needs to be patient and kind and understanding and to be a great listener, full of loving motherly advice and willing to dispense it. No financial contributions necessary just emotional. I think that I would be a great daughter.....Plus you get a wonderful son in law and two adorable grandsons to boot.

I have had it with my mother. I think after many, many years of dealing with her that I am ready to let go of my foolish dreams of her being what I would consider a 'good mother.'
I overheard her tell someone this weekend that she didn't care what I asked her to do or not to do. That what I said didn't matter and that she would do as she pleased. All I have asked from her is that she call before coming to our house especially if it is early in the morning or around dinner time. I don't think its too much to ask. But I guess I know down in my heart of hearts that this is just a symptom of the true problem. And that is she just has no respect for me. And I have decided after 30 yrs that I am not putting up with it any longer. She can go walk all over someone else because I give. Sometimes it takes me a while to get it.... but I see it all very clearly now.

Is there anything chocolate can't fix?

2006-03-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Well it finally happened. My little Banimal has been a wild one since he was in the womb. He is a little daredevil. And yesterday he finally got hurt. He has had bruises and bang ups but nothing to make note of. But yesterday he was climbing around on the neighbors picnic table and fell between the table and the seat and caught his mouth on the table. He didn't cry much, but he split his lip. There was blood everywhere. I think he was more upset about the blood being on his clothes than he was the pain of actually getting hurt. He has a nice fat lip today and a tooth that is really sore. I don't think its loose. Hopefully it won't give him any trouble. I am going to give him a week and if its still bugging him I'll call a pediatric dentist and get them to take a look.

I handled it pretty well. Its hard to see your baby hurting, but I stayed calm. I felt like screaming and crying but I kept it all inside. After it was all over I felt like I could use a valium. But I just settled for a Dove chocolate truffle egg. Is there anything a little chocolate can't fix?

If you are there, please pick up!!!

2006-03-11T15:20:00.000-05:00

I had went over to the neighbor's house this morning to borrow a cordless drill and had just stepped back thru the door when I heard the phone ring. Mr Clean has been getting lots of calls here lately (he is a landscaper and this is the start of his busy season.) I thought about not going in the office to answer, because its usually just some retiree wanting yard work done, but I decided to go and check. As I got closer to the office door I could hear that it was my brother on the other line. And he didn't sound good. "If you are there.....pleeeeaaaassseee....pick up." I knew something was bad wrong. For one, he never calls and two, he never, ever, ever has asked me to "please" do anything. So I picked up and he told me that he needed me to take him to the hospital.
My brother is the most accident prone person that I have ever met. He makes regular trips to the e.r. He has broken most of his bones at one time or another, has cut the end of off his bird finger (which if you knew him would be real irony), and has had more stitiches than I can count.
So when I picked up I naturally wanted to know how he had gotten hurt. But to my surprise he had just been sitting in the recliner when it all started. He was in alot of pain so I hurried to go pick him up and rushed him to the hospital. Once we got there I realized that I should have probably called ahead and just took my time driving. We live in a small town and the hospital isn't known for speedy service. We sat (well, I sat Jason laid and rolled around in the floor) forever waiting on a nurse to take him back. What I didn't realize was that we were about 15 ft away from the nurse. She was hanging out with some friends that had brought there new baby in to show her. So while she was gooing at the newborn I was trying to explain the basics of Lamaze breathing to help him with the pain. ( There were two small children in the waiting room and Jason has a mouth like a sailor especially when under stress) So I felt like I needed to do something to keep little virgin ears from hearing some very bad language.
But finally the e.r. nurse got it in gear and took him back. They doped him up and ran a bunch of tests on him and found that he had a few kidney stones. The male equivilent to giving birth, I am told. I might have to disagree since a baby is a whole lot bigger. But , it is painful none the less. So I guess I was right on with the lamaze.
But alls well that ends well. He is resting semi-comfortably at home waiting for his little 'babies' to finally move on out.

2006-03-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Helen Keller

2006-03-08T14:23:00.000-05:00

Today I went outside as usual with my boys to play for a while before naptime. And we walked over to our big grassy field. The Banimal begs to go to the big field because there are huge piles of mulch to climb on and play in. So we went and played. It was a gorgeous day. Beautiful blue sky. No clouds.
Before we got ready to go back to the house we sat down in the grass to rest and the Banimal wanted me to lay down. It has been years since I have laid down in the grass. So to appease him I pulled up my hood and laid down. It was such a strange feeling. It was like seeing something you used to know. Visiting a place that you haven't seen in years. It was sort of familiar. It felt like it did when I was a kid.
The world is such a beautiful place. We run around in it so wrapped up in getting thru the day that we miss the best parts. I can't tell you the last time I felt as relaxed as I did laying there in the grass staring up at the big blue sky.
I am definately going to schedule in more sky staring time on my 'to do' list.

2006-03-08T13:49:00.000-05:00

Peace and war begin at home.
If we truly want peace in the world,
let us begin by loving one another in our own families.
If we want to spread joy,
we need for every family to have joy.

Mother Teresa

the wonder of it all

2006-03-07T15:25:00.000-05:00

I found this site and I thought that the pictures and the message were beautiful. So take a break and kick back and relax for a few minutes and take a look. I bet you'll feel a little more centered and much more relaxed.

Enjoy.
wonderofitall.com

Gee, I feel old.

2006-03-06T14:25:00.000-05:00

There is nothing like talking to teenager to make you feel old. I keep in touch with one of my cousin's daughters who is 16. And when I talk to her on the phone or email her sometimes I have these horrific realizations. I guess for the most part I don't really think of myself as any age in particular. But a part of me still feels like I did when I was a teenager. But when I talk to her I realize just how 'not a teenager' I am.

Its funny I can remember before my grandmother passed away she told me that she looked into the mirror everyday and thought 'who is this old woman staring back at me.' She said in her mind she still felt like she did in her late teens to early twenties. She said that her outsides didn't match how she felt inside. I guess I am starting to realize some of what she meant.

Normal day

2006-03-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

Normal day...
Let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
Let me hold you while I may,
For it may not always be so.
One day I shall want more than all the world your return.

Mary Jean Iron

Sometimes I get caught up in looking ahead too much and not just enjoying where I am. This quote helps me to remember to just savor the moment. I guess the monotony of day to day makes me wish sometimes that I had some excitement. Changing diapers and picking up toys seems kind of boring day after day. But I just remind myself that when the boys are grown and gone that I will miss these uneventful days that we spent playing in the living room floor. These are 'the good ole days.'

2006-03-03T14:50:00.000-05:00

To be yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

EE Cummings

A family pet

2006-03-03T14:39:00.000-05:00

Well, it has taken me almost a full year to talk myself into it. But I am ready for a family pet. We are going to take it in baby steps. The Banimal has wanted a fish since I was pregnant with Pteradactyl boy. But I kept putting him off, because I knew how crazy life would be with a new baby in the family. But now Pteradactyl boy is almost a year old and I think we could handle the responsibility of a fish.

I have decided to get a Beta fish. I figure as low maintenance as they are surely we can keep the little sucker alive. And should tragedy befall our new pet, there are a whole bunch more that look just like him at Walmart for a couple of dollars. Maybe if this goes well I might buy one of the bigger tanks. But right now we will just see how it goes with the Beta.

This is so funny because in my former life....pre-Mr Clean and kids. I was a huge animal person. I had an 80 lb dog that lived in the house with me. I always had birds and dogs and cats. I had a horse for several years as well. But for the last five years I have been pet free and I really have enjoyed it. After having two kids so close together the thought of a dog and having to take care of it seems like alot of work. I figure I have a few more years before the dog thing comes up. WHew...

Sunny days... sweeping the clouds away

2006-03-02T14:11:00.000-05:00

Man, it has been so nice outside the past few days. Yesterday I actually got a touch of sunburn on my arms. I am so ready for spring to chase Old Man Winter away. Even though I was holding out for a decent snow, I am hoping now that maybe snow could just be postponed until next winter. I want to put on my shorts and take off my shoes and dangle my toes in the water on warm, sunny days.

All this warm weather has me thinking about yardwork. I have a list of things I want to get done and I am anxious to get started on them. I want to do the worst job first...paint the garage. But after that its just little gardening projects which I enjoy. Mr Clean has to get busy on fencing the yard in. I will be crazy if I don't have a fence to keep in the boys.

Turning point... yeah, right

2006-02-21T14:44:00.001-05:00

Oh well, so much for a turning point. I took both boys to the doc yesterday and they tested positive for the flu. At this point my hope is that I don't get it, because someone has to take care of them. Mr Clean missed a week when he had the flu so he needs to be at work. So I am praying that it passes me by.

I have to say I would recommend Tamiflu. Neither boy has been as sick as I had anticipated. So I think the tamiflu really does a great job.

Turning point

2006-02-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks have been very difficult. I have been stretched and pulled in more directions than I ever knew existed. My kids and Mr Clean have been sick. It started out with Pteradactyl boy getting an ear infection. Then Mr Clean was struck down with the flu. He spent an entire week, yes, seven full days, laying in the bed barely moving. And in the meantime the Banimal got an ear and sinus infection which set off his asthma so we got to do more antibiotics and breathing treatments.

I am exhausted. But I am also proud of myself. I managed to take care of everyone, well, in all fairness, Mr Clean took care of himself mostly. All he really needed was boxes of Kleenexes and occasional tylenol and water. But the kids are always high maintenance when they are sick. I also didn't let the house go to the degree I normally do when we are all sick.

Mr Clean being sick was a big handicap. He is my righthand man. He always helps with the kids in the evenings so that I can get things done. So I was amazed that I was able to do it all.

Mr Clean always goes to the doc with me when I take the kids so taking them to the doctor without him seemed like a daunting task. Especially since it was the Banimal that was sick. Even though he is the oldest, he is definately the more clingy of the two. So he always wants to be held. The problem is that the Pteradactyl boy can't walk yet so you have to hold him. While we were in the doc's office in the waiting room the Banimal spiked a fever and started puking. Luckily we made it to the bathroom. My situation along with the fact I hadn't slept in weeks almost brought me to a breaking point. But I came to my senses and realized that even though I really just wanted to cry more than anything, it wouldn't do anyone any good. So I sucked it up and handle things.

There are a couple of things that I have learned over the last couple of weeks. I am more capable than I ever imagined. But that I truly have to depend on God for my stregnth. Sunday I was falling apart at the seems, but I just told God (what He already knew) that I couldn't do this on my own that I needed His stregnth to sustain me. And sure enough I felt renewed. The other thing is that the life of a single mother must be very difficult and almost overwhelming at times. I have so much respect for single moms. This past week was a little glimpse into what things might be like for them. (Only I knew that in a few days Mr Clean would be back on his feet.)

Hopefully, today will be our turning point. Everyone seems to be getting better. Mr Clean is up around which makes things ten times easier. I am so ready for cold and flu season to be over and for warm weather to get here. I am tired of cold and snow and snotty noses and coughs. I want to think about the beach and warm breezes.

Something to think about

2006-02-17T15:02:00.000-05:00

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in a magnificient glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

--Jack London

Pediatrician sent a thank you note

2006-02-03T13:33:00.000-05:00

Our pediatrician sent us a thank you note. They were able to purchase the rest of the building they were in and expand their office due, in part, to our generous donations...oh wait, I mean payments for office visits.

I think doctors are in a great position to create return business. When you take your kid to the office you have to sit for 30 mins to an hour in a waiting room swarming with coughing, hacking, snotty nosed kids just like yours. I am sure that if you weren't sick when you got there that you are when you leave.

I used to be a laid back mom when it came to germs. I didn't go crazy and make my son wash his hands constantly and I used to make fun of the mom's that would wipe the buggy down with the antibacterial wipes. But no more. I am joining them. I bought a purse sized box of wipes and three or four bottles of the waterless hand sanitizer. During our last doctor's visit, I think I made the Banimal wash his hands at least 4 times and forbid him to put his hands anywhere near his face until we left the building.

We will see if going over to the other side will help. Now I will be the mom that the other mom's are making fun of. oh well.

Dinosaur troubles

2006-01-26T15:32:00.000-05:00

I left the room for just a few minutes today... I swear it was less than 2... and when I came back poor little Pteradactyl boy had about 10 dinosaur prints on his face thanks to the Banimal. The Banimal got a dinosaur stamping kit with an ink pad and he decided that his brother needed a little decoration.

I think that kid is going to be the death of me. I believe that he is what they call "active". He is into more than I can keep up with. And now that he has a little brother that adds a another layer to the whole situation. Poor, poor Pteradactyl boy.

Banimal turns 3

2006-01-24T14:20:00.001-05:00

Well, I have had a ton of stuff going on here lately. I haven't posted at all. I have read some of my fave blogs, but not that often. I have really missed the blogging world.

My oldest son turned 3 this past week. My boys birthdays are always traumatic for me. I don't know why. It is so bittersweet to watch them grow. Part of me, a big part, just wants for them to stay babies forever. But it is so much fun to watch their personalities develop. The Banimal can talk really well now and its fun to hear his opinions and thoughts on life. (which he has a ton of.)

His strongest opinions have to do with my hair. He told me the other day that he liked my hair brown and that he did not like it blonde and that he prefered long hair to short. He also informed me that he liked it when I wore red. I am wondering what his career path might be. Who knows, he may grow up to be the fashion police.

He also told me that he married his dad when I was in his tummy. I just said that he speaks well, I never mentioned anything about his comprehension. We had been talking about when Mr Clean and I got married and how he came along about 9 mos later. He is very interested in marriage. He chases his 9 month old brother around with a white sheet trying to stick it over his head telling him that he is going to marry him. Needless to say, we are going to have to have a few more conversations about marriage and the rules that go with it. Like you can't marry your own brother. You gotta love a 3 year old.

The bachelor in Paris... gimme a break

2006-01-10T13:42:00.000-05:00

I was surprised to see another season of The Bachelor. I keep thinking...how long can this go on. But I guess I should be glad. It gives Mr. Clean and myself something to make fun of.

I think the whole Paris thing is so overrated. Paris... the most romantic city in the world. Who says? Don't even get me started on the french. But anywho... They kept showing all these clips of catty women in histerics and then they flash back to a picture of the Eiffel Tower. My bet is that one of the final 4 climbs to the top and threatens to throw herself to her death if Dr. Travis doesn't pick her.

I love the way that they try to pump you up about how romantic the show is. I just don't see anything romantic about 24 (some intellegent and some not so) women chasing one guy around begging him to pick them. And just think if you make it to the end what you have. A guy that has been kissing and making out with multiple other girls just as hot and heavy as he has been with you. Maybe I am old fashioned but being in a contest with other women for a guy is just not that appealing. They should change the name from Bachelor to The Gigalo.

Just think if you marry and have kids what kind of story that will make for your kids. "Yeah, your mom and 24 other gals were lined up like cattle and I picked her. She had good teeth and breeding hips. Lucky her. It could just as easily been Muffy the blonde accountant from Little Rock. But your mom put on her game face and pulled it off in the end."

And there was the most pitiful gal ever on there last night. She was a doctor and she went up and told the dude first thing that 'she was in the reproductive stage of her life. Her eggs were rotting.' Somebody please tell the girl... you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, under any circumstances tell a man you have just met that you want to have babies, that is unless you aren't interested in dating him and you just want to scare him off. The chic needed some serious therapy.

I guess I'll be tuning in from time to time to check out the cat fights. I am sure from the previews there are going to be plenty. I think the fact that they are all fighting for a potential husband that is a doctor makes it that much more intense.

M y Dad

2006-01-09T13:38:00.000-05:00

My dad is such an interesting person. He has done so many things and lived a life that is hard for me to imagine. He has lived thru hard times and a childhood that don't even seem like they could be so. Sometimes when he tells us stories I wonder if he is using a little creative licensing, but later own I'll run into someone who was there or had first hand knowledge of it and they will verify everything he has said.

We were talking last night about how many times he has been across America. He hitchhiked across twice in the 60's and rode a train across (also in the 60's) and then a few years ago he was able to take a couple of weeks off from work and he, my mother, and another couple that they are friends with went. The times that he hitchhiked are of interest to me.

I grew up in a time where hitchhiking was not safe and for the most part you don't really see that many hitchhikers out there. But I guess things were different back then. The first time he hitchhiked it took him nearly two weeks. He said that he felt like he must have walked a good portion of the trip. He went with two guys that he grew up with. They were looking for work in the saw mills and lumber yards.

While they were going thru Kansas they got 13 different rides in 18 miles. Dad said it was like a revolving door. They'd get in and then it was time to get out. Some of the places he went thru had strict laws about hitchhiking and he said they would throw you in jail if they caught you thumbing a ride. He walked from one city limit to the other of Salt Lake City, because of that.

On the other side of Salt Lake City a man that was going back to a military base after being on leave picked them up in a volkswagon. It had been days since they had slept. And the guy offered to take them almost to Longview, Washington (which was where they were headed.) It was out of his way, but he was a day early so he had some time to spare. My dad said that he rode in the back seat with one of his buddies and a dufflebag. He was packed like a sardine, but at the time he was so tired that he didn't care. He just leaned his head back and slept for hours. When he woke up he felt like his neck was broke.

I asked him about the time he rode the train. I was interested in the route he took, but all he could remember was that his brother dropped him off at a train depot in Hendersonville, NC and that about halfway thru the trip they were pushing thru about 4 feet of snow.

I thought it was interesting that he only went in the winter, but he told me that the saw mills and woodyards wouldn't hire any outsiders until all locals had jobs. So in the summer there wasn't any work, because the high school kids would go to work to make some money.

My dad is one of the best people you will ever meet. When I meet people and I tell them who my dad is they always have good things to say. He is unlike anyone else I know. He believes that the moon landing was faked by the government and that a Bigfoot almost got his dad one night while he was using the bathroom in the woods. But on the opposite end of the craziness is a person who always has the answer for any problem. Someone who doesn't hold onto the sorrows of the past and always tries to find a way to put a funny spin on the worst situations. I have seen him meet a stranger and get into a conversation with them and learn that they had no money and give them his last 20 dollars. And he isn't gullable either. He reads people better than anyone I know.

I remember a time that we were eating at a local burger joint and my dad started talking to this young guy at the next table. He found out the guy had just moved to our area and things weren't working out for him. He was living in his car and didn't have and job and was down to his last couple of dollars. My dad took out all the money he had in his wallet (which was about $50) and gave it to the guy and then told him some places to look for work. About 2 yrs later we ran into that same guy in a grocery store and he remembered my dad and came up to him and reintroduced himself and tried to repay my dad, but, of course, he would not take it.

I think being the oldest sibling and growing up incredibly poor and with an alcoholic father taught him how to be resourceful and compassionate. He empathizes with the struggles that people go thru.

Okay okay... enough bragging. He will never read this since he is definately not computer literate (one time he was in a government building and he thought that an electric pencil sharpener was a spy camara ), but I tell him how proud I am of him as often as I can. I try to get him to tell me and my kids stories from his life and I try to remember as much of them as I can. I really think that his story would make an excellent book. But who knows if that will ever happen.

2006-01-06T15:23:00.000-05:00

The miner's

2006-01-05T14:38:00.000-05:00

I have been watching the news over the last few days trying to keep up with the story about the miner's. I was so hoping for a great outcome. It is all just so sad.
I was watching a morning show and one of the hosts asked how does a mine stay in business with 45 safety violations...well I can probably tell you how. I used to work at a quarry. I was right out of college and it was a real eye opener for a fresh kid.
After working there for a while the boss who I shall call Buttwipe (I'll use a variation of the Pirate's boss man) decided that he would send me to safety school to learn everything I could and when I got back I could be in charge of the "safety program." Well it all sounded wonderful. But the reality of the situation was that he was looking for someone who was niave like myself to send to school and then bring back and put my name down as being in charge of safety and then continue doing business as usual with a convenient little scape goat.
Conditions were not good. When I went to school it was a complete eye opener. I couldn't believe that there were so many potential dangers lurking around. Long story short... they had no intentions of changing things and I had no intentions of standing idly by while all these things were happening. So after much stress and arguing I told them to stick it all where the sun don't shine.
But along the way I realized how the big world works. You buddy up to the inspectors and by them lunch and when you have safety conferences you take them out drinking and to dinner and when they come and inspect your quarry then they turn their heads the other way. Never mind that the safety of human lives is what all of this is about.
It made me sick. I had options in life but alot of men (I was the only woman there) didn't. They had little to no education and for alot of them it was a given to work at a quarry. The men in their families had for generations. Most of them were the sole bread winners in their families so if something happened to them the family was without income (not to mention a father and husband).
But Buttwipe didn't care all he was worried about was the almighty dollar and he was willing to roll the dice and bet that he would get away with it. And he did. Thankfully no one got bad hurt. Recently, Buttwipe sold out to a bigger quarry so I don't know how things are now. I am not usually a vindictive person. But I would love to see him and his cronies penniless and on the street corner.
But back to the miners I bet dollars to donuts that the mine owner's was rolling the dice the same as Buttwipe, only things didn't turn out so well. My heart goes out to the families of the miner's. And if there is any justice in this world I hope that if the mine owner's and safety inspectors weren't doing like they were supposed to that they are punished to the fullest extent of the law.

what a great day

2006-01-04T14:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know where to put my order in, but I want to order up another day like today. There isn't a cloud in the sky. The sun is so bright and warm. I took the kids to the park this morning and we just wore long sleeves and fleece vests. I think it is at least 50 degrees. This is wonderful. Usually the highs this time of the year are around 35-40 degrees. So this is awesome.

THE NEW YEAR.... a few days after the fact

2006-01-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

I hope the fact the I am post New Year's resolutions three days after the fact is no indication of how my year is going to be. I was hoping to be a little more on the ball this year. Of course, I have hoped that for over a decade and nothing has really changed. I guess I might actually have to put some serious effort forth to do that. Oh well.

I have been thinking about what resolutions I am going to make. I guess I could really say anything because I am not good at keeping them. So I could just make up crazy stuff. But I will try to be practical and write down a few that I might actually keep.

1. To make both boys lay down by themselves and take a nap and actually do something I enjoy while they are sleeping. No housework.

2. To get in better shape and whittle off those pesky 10 lbs of baby weight. I hope to be at pre-baby weight by Pteradactyl boys first birthday in April.

3. To spend at least 3o mins three times a week at the piano. I should probably do more. But that is more realistic.

4. To write at least 2 posts a week on the blog.

5. To throw away all things that we do not use and declutter my house.

There I am done.

I have to say I am excited to see what 2006 has in store for me. 2005 was pretty good. We added sweet little Pteradactyl boy to the family and the Banimal potty trained. I actually got the Banimal to sit thru story time without having to physically restrain him. (I have been working on that one since he was 18 mos old.)We have had alot of get togethers with our friends this year. Other than the lack of sleep brought about by having a newborn in the house the year has been great.

2005-12-28T19:17:00.001-05:00

Well, another Christmas is over now. I don't really enjoy the next few months in general. The month of November you have Thanksgiving to look foward to and you still have some fall color and December you have all the parties and get togethers and Christmas festivities and then after New Year's Eve, you are kind of slapped in the face with the reality of winter. No leaves, just gray and cold. The fact that it gets dark so early is another bummer.

I trudge thru January, February, and March and then about April there is a glimmer of hope. Usually we will get some warm days and you know the end is near. I am an outdoors type person and so are my kids, so we don't really do well with soggy, cold winter days.

But enough complaining about cold weather.... We had a great Christmas. I like all the traditions that go with Christmas. I had fun reading the "baby Jesus story" to the Banimal. It was more fun this year because he can communicate better and can understand the story. I also had fun making and eating tons of cookies with him. And I can't leave out watching all those old clay mation Rudolph movies.

This year was also the first year the Banimal has been able to understand Santa. I have debated about doing the santa thing, but I am glad I did. When he saw the crumbs on the plate and the half empty milk glass his mouth hit the floor. He didn't even notice the presents.

I was also so pleased with how he handled it all. My Christmas present was seeing him be so appreciative of everything he got and saying 'Thank you' without being prompted. As a mom, those moments are what I enjoy most. About two weeks ago he blurted out the blessing we say before meals on his own. I was surprised and pleased. Now he insists on saying it. And of course, I just radiate when he does.

Little Pteradactyl boy had no clue about any of it. He is so laid back anyway. He never blinked an eye at any of the presents or the lights. He was fascinated with ornaments. He is only 8 mos. Next year he'll be able to get into it all more.

I have had bronchitis and my father in law had a stroke on Christmas day (but is doing well). So I have been neglecting my blogger duties. But I am planning to start back full steam New Year's Day. I have missed keeping up with all my blogging buddies. I have noticed that I wasn't the only one who got scarce during the holidays.

I hope everyone has a great New Year!!!!!!

Thinking back on past Christmases

2005-12-22T15:34:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about the Banimal getting a bike this Christmas and it made me think about a Christmas when I was a kid. I was probably in the 2nd grade, maybe 3rd and all I wanted for Christmas was a blue and white BMX bike, just like all the boys in my neighborhood had. It had orange writing on it and knobby tires. I just thought I couldn't live without it. And sure enough, Christmas morning there it was under the tree. ( I was so scared that my mom might buy me a pink 10 speed, because she thought it was more appropriate.)

I also remember that we had bad weather that year on Christmas. Not snow, but sleety, slushy, icey precip. But Christmas morning I bundled up and went outside and rode my bike.

I think I enjoyed that bike better than anything I ever got. I could ride with all the boys and jump dirt piles just like they did. I fit right in. I don't know how many miles I put on that bike.

Hopefully, since the Banimal is not quite 3 and his little bike has training wheels, he won't be jumping any dirt piles or ramps when he gets it this year. Thinking about stuff like that makes me anxious for the future. I can't wait to see my boys get big and see them doing things that I did when I was a kid..... wait a minute.... after giving this some careful consideration and recalling some of the things I did as a kid....maybe I'll just savor these moments while they are little.

The cat is out of the bag now.

2005-12-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

We have asked the Banimal several times over the last few months what he wants for Christmas only to have him say, 'nothing' in response. I am convinced that he has some faulty wiring. God forgot to connect the toy-wanting wires. But anyway, we decided to get him a little 12 inch bicycle. So to pump him up every time we went to Wally World we would take him back and let him sit on it. So now he is pretty excited about the prospect.

Well, today I had the kids in the minivan headed to the grocery store and who should pull up next to us at the redlight.....why, it was Mr. Clean in his red dump truck. The Banimal was all excited. He was yelling and waving at his dad. And then he got quiet for a minute and then he screamed, "MOM LOOK LOOK LLLLLLOOOOOOKKKKKKK!!!!! There is my bicycle!!!!!" And sure enough sitting on the seat next to Mr. Clean was the bicycle.

I have tried to convince him that Mr. Clean was taking it to some poor, under priviledged child, but he is having no part of it. He just looks at me and smiles and says that he knows that its for him. He is way to smart for his on good. He is not even 3 yet. I should be able to make up a lame lie and have him believe it. But no...

So, I guess Santa made his stop at our house a little early this year. (He still doesn't get to ride it until Christmas... I am such a meanie.)

2005-12-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't make good on my promise. I have been a terrible blogger for another week. I have had little to no free time here lately and I just have not felt that inspired.

But here we go anyhow....

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago who was pregnant with her third baby and was having problems that caused her to not be able to work. Times were hard for her and her husband and she was worried that she wasn't going to be able to do anything for her kids for Christmas. After I talked to her I couldn't get her off my mind. But it was kind of depressing because I felt pretty helpless. Being a stay at home mom myself we keep a tight budget and don't do big Christmas ourselves. But I just kept thinking about her and her kids.

Well, I mentioned it to few people and I guess I mentioned it to the right ones. Actually, I really do believe that it was just a God thing. He planted a seed in my heart and I in turn planted a few. But long story short.... Some people got involved and they brought in food and presents for the kids and some cash for them.

The girl called my mother in law in tears ( My mil was who introduced us). She couldn't believe that strangers were so generous to her and her family. It just made me feel so good. She didn't have any idea who got the whole thing rolling. It felt so good to be a secret Santa's helper.

I think it was a good lesson for me. Sometimes I am hesitant to get involved because I think I won't be able to do what needs to be done. But I think it helped me to realize that just because I can't contribute financially like I want does not mean that I can't contribute in some meaningful way.

So I guess the moral is I need to get up off my apathetic bow-hunkus (My grandpa's word for butt) and do something more often.

I'm back...

2005-12-11T13:11:00.000-05:00

I have been a bad blogger for the last week. I have been reading alot and doing my usual duties (mom, maid, etc..). I am addicting to civil war novels. I read the Truest Pleasure a long time ago. It is not really a civil war novel. It is mainly after the war, it got me interested in North Carolina fiction. Alot of the NC fiction books take place during the Civil War or shortly there after.

My absolute favorites are Truest Pleasure and Cold Mountain. I could read those over and over again. This weekend I broke down after much deliberation and rented the movie Cold Mountain from the library. I wish that I had not. I hated it. I think on the movie they should say 'Very Loosely based on the book by Charles Frazier' instead.

I thought Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger were ill suited for their parts and their accents were terrible. I was just so dissappointed. I know that the movie never usually lives up to the book, but I just didn't expect that much of a letdown.

The characters in the book were so real and interesting. It seemed like the movie's characters were just flat, little shells. yuck. yuck. yuck.

Well, enough moaning about Cold Mountain.

I am going to try to put my book down this week long enough to blog some. So I promise to try to be a better blogger. I have so many fave blogs that I like to read it will take me a week to get caught back up.

Christmas parade

2005-12-04T16:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I had the pleasure of attending two Christmas parades this weekend. A town about 10 miles away had one yesterday and the little town that we live in had theirs today. Our little town is much smaller, but I thought our parade was much better.

We kind of have a little bet that goes on each year. My friends and I try to guess how many 4-wheelers will be in the parade ever year. All you win is bragging rites, but its still fun. This year was a dissappointment though. There were only a couple.

But just as always there was a ton of candy. Its like Halloween backwards. You don't have to dress up and go door to door. You just stand on the sidewalk while people who are dressed up throw candy toward you. (or in the case of the little smart aleck boys...throw candy at you at high rates of speed. Every year there are always one or two little mischievious boys hurling candy at unsuspecting onlookers.)

I think Santa had given into the whole Atkin's or South Beach diet craze, because he was noticeably thinner. He was teetering on the edge of what my grandmother would call "poor".

I have decided that kids today definately have too much candy. I watched little boys and girls run out to pick up candy and look at it and decide it was not what they wanted and throw it back down on the ground. I couldn't believe it. When we were kids we would race out for any little piece on the ground. We'd risk life and limb by running out in front of the next float just to save a piece from getting run over. I was also surprised at all the candy wrappers on the ground afterward too. My parents would have smacked me upside my head if they had caught me throwing down candy wrappers.

Not parade related, but funny none the less..... I was in Kmart yesterday with the Banimal and we rounded a corner only to be met with a mounted deer head singing 'Sweet Home Alabama.' You know the whole world has gone mad. If that is not enough to entice you, BUCK (he has a name ), also sings "On the road again." The kicker is the price tag. You can have this redneck singing deer head for the low, low price of $119. I would love to know how many of those are bought this season.

Happy Birthday, Mr Clean

2005-12-02T14:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Mr. Clean!!!!

This is my wonderful hubby, Mr Clean, and the barn on our 'farm'. (We just have fields, no animals.) But we have always called it the farm.

Mr. Clean and I used to sit at the barn when we were dating and talk about what our future would be like. We wanted to be together and have a couple or more kids and to live near the barn and the fields. Not long after we to married a house and some property that was next to the fields came up for sale and we bought it. So now we live at the farm.

Its a wonderful feeling to be living a life that you have dreamed of. We have what we wanted from the start.... each other, a couple of kids, and the farm.

Mr. Clean is edging ever so closely to the BIG 50. But fortunate for him, men don't get old, they just get more distinguished. HEEHEEE!!!! You just keep telling yourself that.

Isleep deprived mother syndrome

2005-11-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

I haven't slept the night thru in a very long time. I have a seven month old who didn't get the memo. You know the one that said, "at seven months you should most certainly be sleeping thru the night and giving your poor rundown mother a break." I need to find out who is in charge of sending those out and let them know that Pteradactyl boy was left off the list. (Actually I do feel sorry for the little guy his teeth are killing him. He has three already.)

I guess I'd love to blame my sleep deprivation completely on him, but I have to shoulder my part of the blame....which happens to be about 99.9%. I have lead him to believe that I am a 24 hr milk machine. It started out so simply. He was hungry in the middle of the night so I would bring him to bed to nurse and fall asleep in the process. Well, know he thinks he needs me, the human pacifier, to put him back to sleep. (My neighbor says who can blame him. He is after all of the male persuasion and what man could pass up the oppertunity to lay next to a warm, soft woman with a boob in his face while he is going to sleep. He wants to know where he can sign up. He also attributes breastfed babies being the happiest to this theory.)

I have thought about letting him cry it out. But there are several problems with this. First and most importantly, I have an uncontrollable urge to make everything ok for my kids and I can't stand the thoughts of him crying in the middle of the night. Second, I have the Banimal sleeping in the next room. You absolutely DO NOT under ANY circumstances want to wake that child up in the middle of the night....especially in an unpleasant way. If he got roused up, we would all be crying. (I think he gets that from me.)

I need the "easy button" like in those Staples commercials. I just keeping hoping that the situation will resolve itself with little or no effort on my part. And I am sure that it will...about 5 mos or so from now when the little booger weans... but I can't make it that much longer.

Christmas shopping

2005-11-28T16:46:00.000-05:00

I actually went shopping the day after Thanksgiving this year. Well, actually that is a lie. I went to the mall the day after Thanksgiving with absolutely no intentions of buying anything. My mother, who is a huge shopaholic, convinced me to go.

Its about an hour drive for us to the closest city with a mall. Needless to say, I hardly ever go there. Occasionally, I'll need something at Babys-R-Us and so I'll make the trek. But in general, I hate shopping. And now that I stay at home its pretty much pointless to look at things you are not going to be buying. I'd rather take the kids to the library or the park.

Anyhow.... I agreed to go because I needed something from Babys-R-us. But first we went to the mall. I loaded the kids in the double stroller and gave the almost 3 yr old Banimal the "mommy's expectations about your behavior" talk and then we entered the labyrinth of insanity.

First of all.... they need a bigger mall. The stores had merchandise stuck in every conceivable hole in the joint. Just tons and tons of junk. Lots of stuff stuck in the isles. You know the kind of cheap stuff that looks kind of neat that you get that kind of hard to shop for person.

The people were a whole nother story. Women carrying more than their body weight in Dillard's bags. People making their kids get out of the stroller to put bags into the stroller. And there was so much plastic flying at the registers. The credit card companies are going to have another great year.

We spent most of our time following my material crazed mother around as she looked for the 'perfect gift' for everyone down to the preacher's first cousins' sister in law. But the kids enjoyed it. They like all the lights and the Christmas trees. I don't get them out much so its a new adventure when we do the mall. About half way thru the trip, as a surprise to the Banimal, I whipped out what we affectionately call "the Leash." He was happy. I wait until he is figgety and then I let him walk around kind of as a treat. Aren't I terrible?

Oh yeah... and for the icing on the cake three layers thick.... he got to ride a train in the mall, meet Ol Kris Kringle himself (although we opted out on the pic... they wanted nearly $15 for a mug with Santa), and Chick-fil-a was the the cherry on top. They had a man dressed up in a huge cow suit handing out free waffle fry cards. The Banimal was way more impressed with the cow dude.

Well... that was my mall excitement for the year. Hope its at least another year before I have to go back.

Tom Cruise Rant.

2005-11-27T15:04:00.000-05:00

I used to be huge Tom Cruise fan. I remember when I was a teenager how we used to watch all of his movies over and over and just salivate over him. We would do marathons where we would sit and stare at the tv for hours just watching Top Gun or Days of Thunder. He was the best.

But now I can't even stand the site of him. After the whole Brooke Sheilds debacle I just hate to even see his face on tv. I wouldn't watch one of his movies if you gave me a free ticket. Who does he think he is???? Maybe he is a little confused. I don't think he has ever recieved any degree in medicine to my knowledge. And further more unless he is a really convincing cross dresser he has never had any experience with being pregnant or any of the stuff that comes with it.

Well, now I read that he is giving poor little gullable Katie Holmes (or Kate as he calls her) regular check ups on his on personal sonagram machine. Hello!!!! You are not a doctor and you haven't even played one on tv. He has gone over the deep end.

I think maybe he should spend a little less time with his Scientology-nutty buddies at the center and rejoin the rest of us here on earth.

100 things about MOUNTAIN GIRL

2005-11-22T14:10:00.000-05:00

After much thought and deliberation.....here is my list. This was hard.

1. I am a Christian. (I thank God for His grace and patience.)

2. I am a work in progress.

3. My father is one of the greatest influences on my life.

4. I was a tomboy growing up. Still am in many ways.

5. I was extremely rebellious thru my teenage years. I got involved in alot of things that I am not to proud of.

6. I love to learn.

7. I love to read self-help type stuff and bio and autobiographical stuff.

8. I am blessed to have a several really good friends. One I have known since kindergarten, one since seventh grade, and one I met on the first day of college. I still talk to all of them on a weekly basis.

9. I barely graduated from high school but I graduated from college with a 3.85 gpa. Its amazing what a difference paying for your education makes.

10. I usually feel more comfortable around guys. I grew up with all boys and was always just treated like one of the guys.

11. I am learning how to hang out with women, but it is different and difficult at times.

12. I have worked at a rock quarry and doing construction.

13. My first marriage was a disaster from the start.

14. The years I spent with my ex-husband were the lonliest and most difficult years of my life so far.

15. I went on a cruise with my ex husband (we were still married at the time) and really seriously contemplated pushing him off the boat one night when he was drunk. But I didn't.

16. Instead I came home and filed my divorce papers. One of the best decisions I have ever made.

17. I miss working from time to time.

18. I love giving the perfect gift. (doesn't have to cost alot. I just love it when you are able to give someone something they absolutely love.)

19. There is something that I like about working outside and doing physically difficult work and even being dirty at the end of the day.

20. The day that I married my now husband was one of the happiest days of my life. When I met him I knew I had found "home."

21. The days that my boys were born are my other happiest days.

22. My husband is 17 yrs and 11 mos older than me. He graduated high school the year I was born.

23. I almost let him slip thru my fingers because I didn't know if I wanted to date someone that much older than me. Boy would I have missed out.

24. I like getting older (the alternative sucks) I learn so much every year.

25. My children have brought great joy and alot of hard work.

26. Before I had the Banimal I had never fed a baby or changed a baby.

27. I have always been afraid of the dark.

28. I played piano well enough to get a partial college scholarship but now I can barely read music or play 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star.'

29. My mother forced me to play and my rebellion was to stop once I turned 18 and never touch the keys again.

30. Lately I have toyed with the idea of picking it back up again.

31. I love anything that is artistic. music. painting. drawing. crafting. even play dough.

32. I was a member of NOW when I was in college.

33. They would be so disappointed in my outcome. Stay at home, mother of two, submissive little housewifey.

34. I feel like the little domestic housewifey suites me way better than the hostile man hater.

35. My husband says that I have "Little Red Hen Syndrome" from time to time.

36. I thoroughly enjoy my little domesticated life.

37. I worked for most of my twenties and don't have a penny to show for it.

38. I have less and spend less now, but I am so much more satisfied.

39. I absolutely love Blues. especially Buddy Guy and BB King.

40. I also love classic rock and southern rock. (I had written old rock at first, but my sweet hubby explained that its called 'classic' not 'old'.) I think that's how he chooses to look at himself as well.

41. I love doing service/volunteer work.

42. I don't drink caffiene.

43. I love chocolate. (kind of a double standard... I'll eat caffiene but not drink it.)

44. I make a mean pan of biscuits. Just the way my Grandma used to in a cast iron skillet.

45. I love to cook

46. I have a huge recipe collection.

47. My graduating class only had 51 people in it.

48. I loved college because there were so many different kinds of people there with so many different points of view.

49. I love to talk to people that I have nothing in common with.

50. I talk way too much. Always have.

51. I open my mouth and speak without thinking. A habit that I have been working on.

52. I love to play sports.

53. I used to love to lie when I was a kid. It was like a challenge to try to get them to believe you.

54. I have a really hard time telling people "no". But my husband has helped me to stand my ground more.

55. I seem really tough on the outside but I am really a big mush pot on the inside.

56. Having kids has made me even mushier. I cry about all kinds of crazy things.

57. I am extremely sentimental. I keep all of the cards that my husband and kids give me.

58. I am obsessed with pictures. I have lots of pictures of my family and friends.

59. When I was in the sixth grade my mom would not let me shave my legs and a boy in my class called me 'cow legs'. I have shaved my legs nearly ever day of my life since my mother finally let me. I can't stand to have hairy legs.

60. People always comment on my smile.

61. I think that my green eyes are my best attribute.

62. I had an aunt that used to babysit me when I was about 7 and she would close the blinds and turn off the lights and turn her disco ball on and play Rod Stewart's 'If you want my body' and 'abracadabra'. I thought I was at the club and I used to dance for hours to those 45's. that was one of my fave memories

63. I love to read quotes.

64. I can memorize the words to a song after hearing it once.

65. Unfortunately I am a terrible singer.

66. My favorite color is red.

67. I am a dreamer.

68. I resist change (according to Mr Clean, resist don't quite cover it).

69. I have always wanted to do something artistic for a living.

70. My dream job would be to have a shop and make custom cabinetry and small furniture.

71. I love Seagrams Ginger Ale.

72. From time to time I watch General Hospital.

73. I would never admit it to my friends.

74. I was born almost 7 1/2 mos after my parents married. I was 8lbs. You do the math. My mother still to this day, 30 yrs later, will not admit to anything.

75. I don't get along with my mother. (that's a blog of its own)

76. I enjoying blogging very much.

77. I did natural childbirth.

78. I feel like I can do anything after that.

79. I LOVE pizza and macaroni. Not necessarily together. I am carb crazy.

80. I love to be outdoors.

81. When I was pregnant, I secretly wished for boys.

82. I hope to maybe have a little girl someday.

83. If money was not a consideration, I would love to have alot more kids.

84. I never wanted kids at all, until I met Mr Clean.

85. I think sometimes I might have adult ADD. Mr Clean reaaures me its just having kids.

86. Sometimes I think parts of my brain are turning to mush. (from lack of use)

87. I am great at dreaming up ideas and things to do.

88. I have a hard time following thru with things.

89. I don't really believe in horoscopes, but I am exactly how they describe libras.

90. The chinese horoscope thing that's on the placemats at all Chinese restaurants says that Mr Clean and I should never be together. What does a placemat know?

91. I usually wear a tshirt, jeans and a pair of TEVA sandals.

92. When I was a kid I would cry until I was sick because my mom would make me wear frilly dresses and she would curl my hair.

93. I used to rock climb.

94. I rode a motorcycle for a couple of years. (I sold it when I married Mr Clean. He doesn't ride.)

95. I went gray prematurely. I have been dying my hair since I was 26.

96. I have good looking feet. ??? I asked my husband what he thought I should add and this was his contribution. He said, 'Beware of the woman with ugly feet.' He says all men know this. ???? I am confused.

97. I eat like a lumberjack and always have.

98. I have never ordered a salad and pushed it around on a plate to impress a man.

99. I like comedy. movies, tv, books.

100. This was the hardest thing I have done in a long time.

Just some random things that bug me

2005-11-17T14:13:00.000-05:00

Directional poop.... I have a baby that can have poop all in his clothes, his carseat, on his back, in his hair but not have one drop in his diaper. Please tell me how does poop manage to come out of a kids butt and miss the diaper on his butt completely.

Quaker oats..... Why in the world does Quaker not give you 5 strawberry and 5 peach in the box. They give you six peach and four strawberry. It seems reasonable to me that if you buy a box with only two flavors that there would be an equal amount of each in the box. Who are they kidding... its not even like there is any real fruit. Most of that stuff is apples that are flavored to taste like strawberries and peaches. How much more could strawberry flavoring cost.

The reason I even care about this is that I have a toddler that loves strawberry oatmeal. I really wish they would save me a lot of trouble and make just a box of strawberry.

Traffic lights.... Our town just got a whole new traffic system. I am sure cost more money than I would care to know. Two things bug me about it. First, there are these big, black poles with arms that the lights hang on which that in its self is no problem. But the whole deal is that they are supposed to be more appealing to look at ( you know the whole tourist thing. Lights on wires aren't as cute?) But any who..... The thing is there are still power lines running everywhere. So now we have these monsterous poles and tons of wires.

Secondly, you'd think that a new computerized system would help traffic to move along...but you would be very, very wrong. Where there were no problems, there are now. And where there were short little waits now there are really long waits. I thought this morning that there was a wreck or something ahead of me, but it was just the poorly timed lights.

Sorry for the complaining... It won't happen next time.

Fightin'

2005-11-16T15:15:00.000-05:00

I was reading a post today over on the

Pirate Journal

and it made me think about when I was growing up.

I grew up with all boys. And since we lived in a rural, not-so-good part of the county they were not sophisticated, sweet, bookworm boys. They were fighting, tree climbing, spitting, cursing boys. So I had quite a little mouth on me and could usually back most of it up.

Every day we'd all ride bikes and play in the woods. Sometimes we'd make us a pretend WWF wrestling ring and we'd just wrestle and horseplay. That never worked well though because someone always hit someone too hard or unfairly took a swing when they weren't looking and then it was pure mayhem until someone's mom came out of the house with the broom or a hickory. Pary over.

But anyway... I remember when I was in 5th grade this new kid named Brandon came to school. He sat near me and picked on me constantly. He would tell me how he was a karate master and how he was going to Japan or some place like that to study and how he was going to throw his chinese death star at me and kill me. Well, this built up day after day after day. Until one sunny day we were out on the playground for recess and he came up to me and started all his karate junk and I decided that enough was enough.

He jumped up on one foot with his hands posed high in the air. (I am sure in his mind he must have thought he was the karate kid.) All the kids started coming around as he started 'heeeing and hooing' and then out of the blue before he could do anything I kicked him right in the nuts. He immediately hit the ground thrashing around and gagging. And I just turned and walked away. OOOOHHHHH You have much to learn grasshopper.

Later that week the teacher called my mother and father in for a conference. In this conference she told my parents that I was too rough for the boys and that my parents should buy me Barbie dolls and other more feminine toys. Little did she know that I had a whole collection of Barbie's and that I played with them regularly.

This situation had nothing to do with Barbie and everything to do with a little boy who needed to shut his mouth and stop bullying. BTW, he never again mentioned anything about death stars or karate chopping me.

A few funny stories involving the Banimal

2005-11-13T15:13:00.000-05:00

We gave my first born son the nickname 'the Banimal' when he was a tiny little baby, mainly because of all the funny animal-like noises he would make. Banimal is part baby, part animal. Little did we know how well it would suit him on into his toddler years.

Friday morning I got in the shower and about half way thru I heard the bathroom door open and the pitter patter of Banimal feet. I asked him if he was okay and he said "yes" and I asked him if he needed anything and he said "no". He was really quiet while he was in the bathroom.... and quiet is not a good thing at our house. When he gets quiet I start looking cause something is going down.

Anyway... I get out of the shower and I realize that I don't hear him so I go in the living room. He is sitting in the floor with something square looking held up to his mouth. Upon closer inspection I realize that it is my birth control pack. He had eaten two already and was trying to gnaw his way thru to another. I guess we want have to worry about any unplanned pregnancy, huh?

Saturday, I was in the home office and he came to the door and told me 'Mom, I peed in the other potty.' He has been potty trained for a few months now, so I said 'that's good. You peed in your potty.' Then he corrected me, 'NO, the other potty.' So I assumed that he had went to the big toilet. So I said, ' That's great. You peed in the big toilet like dad.' and again he said, 'No, the other potty.' Then I got a little worried, because there is no 'other potty' in our house. So I asked him to show me where. Well, to my great surprise and dismay he had urinated in a veggie steamer. I had put it on the floor next to the door because the neighbor wanted to use it.

I cleaned it and cloroxed it and later that evening while I was cooking dinner he went over and started playing with the timer on the veggie steamer. In a few minutes he came over to me and held up his hands and handed me a pretend bowl. I asked him what was in my pretend bowl and he looked at me with a huge grin on his face and said, "Pee soup."

Life with the Banimal is never boring. If I can remove myself from being so 'Mom' most of the things he does are really funny. He is my comic relief. He is a true boy thru and thru. He giggles when he passes gas and burps. He thinks its hillarious when I burp. He likes bugs, worms, and dirt. He likes to inspect his poop. Anything gross he thinks is great.

I have had to learn to loosen up especially since he has a brother that's two years younger. There is no end in sight. I am outnumbered. So I figure if you can't beat em, join em.

The Mousacre

2005-11-11T09:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a dark day in the Mountain girl house. I kept smelling something and it wasn't good. I kept trying to tell myself that it was just a dirty diaper that someone had tossed in the kitchen garbage, but down deep I knew that was not the case. So yesterday I asked Mr Clean to take all the canned food out of the lower pantry, because that was where the smell was coming from. There was no way I could do it.

After moving just a few cans we found our first victim. He was still fresh so we knew that we were going to have to go deeper. Sure enough, back in the deep, dark depths of the pantry there was the culprit.... in a flower vase I had stored there, no less. I decided that the flower vase wasn't worth the effort so we tossed the vase, mouse and all.

I reorganized the pantry and cloroxed everything including the outsides of the the cans. And while we were doing all this we decided to pull the fridge out to make sure that there wasn't one under there. Well, we pulled it out and sure enough there was one, but he was alive. At least for the time being. After we cleaned under the fridge we started to scoot it back and the mouse didn't run as fast as we were pushing the fridge so.... you guessed it. He bit the dust and the Banimal came in just in time to see the carnage. It was pretty disgusting. I will start saving for therapy for him now.

From now on I think we will use only traps under the house. No more poison. I can't take another round of that. I felt like I couldn't bathe enough after all that. I don't know why I am such a weiney when it comes to all that, but thank God for my husband. There is no way I could have done his job. I was freaked out just watching and cleaning up. I hope and pray that no more mice come in.

Mouse, mouse go away.

2005-11-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

I live in the country and I have a huge field near my house. Every year when it starts to turn cold the teeny tiny little field mice come into my house seeking refuge from the cold... and food from the cabinets. This poses such a moral delimma for me and Mr Clean.

We are both animal lovers. Unlike alot of the men I know, my dear Mr Clean does not desire to be a great white hunter. All of our friends and relatives that are male pretty much kill everything the law allows them (which is fine for them). But we aren't like that.

Now, back to the mouse, or mice I should say. If they were ugly disease carrying city rats it would be no problem to snuff them out. But they are these insy-winsy, furry brown little things. Most of them are no bigger than a golf ball. They have these adorable little pink ears and these shiny little black eyes. They look like they should be a pet for someone.

Unfortunately for them I have two little boys in the house who spend most of the day crawling, rolling, and scooting across the floor. And I cannot bear the thoughts of my kids being where little mice have been. Or the little suckers getting into my cupboards and into my food.... so they gotta go.

I don't take any joy in this, but that's the way its gotta be. The upside to this is that my Mr Clean and I have a pretty traditional marriage. So killing little furry critters that are in our house clearly falls under his jurisdiction. tee-hee-hee. I can sleep good at night knowing that there will be no more little mice in the house and that I was not the one that had to snuff out the little boogers.

2005-11-09T14:15:00.000-05:00

Here is another photo that I took. I don't remember the name of this waterfall, but it is beautiful.

Looking Glass Rock

2005-11-07T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is Looking Glass Rock. It is in the Pisgah National Forest.
I feel so blessed to live near such beautiful places. I think that Western NC is one of the most beautiful places in the world. (I guess that's why we are over run with retirees and tourists. I can't blame them. If I didn't live here I'd want to visit too.)

Hiding... NO MORE

2005-11-04T15:42:00.000-05:00

I think I may have made more progress in my life than I previously believed. I got up Thursday morning and decided that I was going to the grocery store in my glasses. I mainly kept my head down and try to avoid eye contact, but its still a big step.

This morning before my doc's appt, Mr. Clean offered to take us all to the bakery for breakfast. I thought about not going, but the promise of a hot, buttery scone won out over my embarrassment.

It is pretty funny. People who had never seen me in them were doing a double take. I could tell they wanted to ask about them, but I never said a word. I just kept talking like nothing was different.

I am very glad to be back in my contacts and my comfort zone, but I realized that wearing my glasses wasn't the end of the world. Of course, none of my "friends" saw me. You know how that would go... friend is code for someone who is comfortable enough with you to laugh and make fun of you in a moment of psuedo-crisis (such as having to wear your big thick glasses).

I guess I need a little ridicule so that I don't take this all too seriously. SO on that note..... at the request of OPIE OUTLAW.... I will post some glasses pics in a couple of days. I'll even go to my mom's and get the good stuff. You know, the middle school ones. glasses, braces, bad hair, and all.

If you are feeling like you need a good, hard belly laugh just come back in a few days.

Oh yeah, while I am embarrassing myself... why don't you all dig out one of your "awkward years" pics and post it as well. You know you've got them tucked away somewhere.

I am hiding out.

2005-11-01T14:21:00.000-05:00

I went to the eye doctor the other day and he informed me that my contacts are shot. He also told me that I would have to wear my glasses for 3 days prior to my eye exam to get an accurate reading. I really would like to see out of my new contacts, but three days is a bit much.

So anyhow... today is the first day. I have cancelled all activities for the rest of the week. I will not even be stepping outside to take the garbage to the garage for fear of being spotted.

It has been 14 yrs and 1 month since anyone other than my husband (current and previous) have seen me with my glasses on. My new friends have never seen me and by now people who knew me back when I wore glasses have kind of forgotten about it. Just the way I like it.

It is so weird. Because usually I am not a vain person at all. It is just the glasses that bother me. I guess its probably from being made fun of in school. I looked like a normal kid other than the fact that I had glasses that made my eyes look 10 times bigger than they were. I looked like two big eyeballs coming at ya.

I realize in my head that glasses really don't change who I am at all. But I am still a big baby about the whole thing. It is retarded to think that a grown woman would stay in her house hiding out for days because she doesn't want to be seen with glasses on. Oh well.... I am retarded... There ain't no way I'm coming out.

I will rejoin the rest of the world at about 11 am on Friday morning. After the appointment I can put my contacts back in.

I thought about posting a picture from my glasses wearing days just for the amusement of those who might happen upon this blog, but after some thought...there ain't no way that I would even do that. Maybe one day I'll get over this silliness... but I doubt it.

How many times!!!????

2005-10-31T14:36:00.000-05:00

How many times can a 2 yr old change his mind about what he wants to be for Halloween? I'll tell ya!!! Six times and counting. Thankfully it is noon on Halloween day so hopefully there is an end in sight.

I will take full blame for this one though. I think I started this all...unintentionally...of course...by letting him always choose his clothes. You think at the time 'No big deal'. Then with Halloween coming up I thought I'll ask him what he wants to be and let him pick that too. It seems so simple when you are thinking about it.

So I asked him what he wanted to be. 'Woody', he says. You know, the little cowboy from TOY STORY. I think wow that is simple enough. So I go to the Disney sight and we are looking together. I am about to click on Woody and then he sees Buzz Lightyear. 'No, mom. I want to be Buzz.' So I think we'll just give this a few more days and I'll feel him out some more before we order.

Well, after a few days of talking to him. I decide that he does seem to favor Buzz more so I go ahead and order it. I don't tell him, because silly me thought I would make it a GREAT SURPRISE. Well, it was a surprise alright. The package was delivered several days later. The Banimal was asleep, so I thought I'd go lay it out on the couch so he would see it first thing when he woke up.

He came into the living room and stopped and looked at it and then looked at me with little to no emotion on his face and said, 'It is to big. Send it back.' I was shocked. I tried to coax him into just trying it on but he wasn't having it. All he would say is that it was too big.

I just couldn't believe it. And stupid me kept the stinking Buzz costume thinking maybe he would change his mind last minute. But I should have known. He is a kid that doesn't really care for toys and really done up type stuff.

So anyway. I asked him again what he wanted to be and he told me 'Nemo'. Then again a few days later and he told me 'Sully' from Monsters Inc. Then Saturday he told me that he just wanted to put on this bear mask that he has had for a year or so. So I said fine. Then good ole Grannie (do you sense the sarcasm) brought him a horse and cowboy hat and vest and the whole get-up on Sunday. He said that he wanted to wear that. You know what....okay.... that's fine with me....whatever....I give up.....white flag.

This morning I tried to get him to wear it and all I could get on him was jeans and a shirt. I am a tired, weary mother. So I took him on in what he was wearing. I remembered Mr. Clean's wise advise, 'Just go with the flow.' And when people asked me what he was..... I simply told them that he was a cowboy without a hat, without a vest, and without a horse.

Happy stinking HALLOWEEEN!!!!!!

Here's to you, Leonard.

2005-10-29T15:23:00.000-04:00

I guess every small town has one. You know the lovable, old drunk guy. Our town drunk was Leonard. I hate to even call him the town drunk because it doesn't really appropriately sum up what he really was. I guess if you didn't know him and you just saw him on the roadside walking that would be what you would think. And to be truthful he was a bad alcoholic but there was so much more to him. He definately left an impression. Once you met him you would never forget it.

He had it hard growing up. I don't think he was terribly bright even before he was an alcoholic. His family was very poor. And as we say around here 'he didn't have much raisin'. ( Translated....he didn't really have anyone to teach him how to act appropriately. Believe it or not 'raisin' around here has nothing to do with sun dried grapes)

You could usually find him walking up and down the roads trying to get to town and back on a beer run. If you stopped and picked him up and gave him a ride to town, you could figure on your vehicle smelling pretty darn bad for at least a few days. It was nothing that febreeze could help. It just had to wear off.

Leonard was a character. He was a really short man, probably not much over 5 ft 3 in and he had a big bushy beard that was kind of salt and pepper. Actually the salt part was more yellow than white. I guess from nicotine. He always wore a ball cap. And on his ball cap he had tons of pins of all kinds. Some were more like an old ladies' broaches and he also usually had a chicken feather or some other type of feather hanging there too. Another interesting tidbit about his attire was that he liked ladies' blouses alot more than men's shirts.

He was like a local celebrity at my brother in law's body shop. All the guys would find funny pictures of stuff like Pres Bush with his arm around someone or the Pope and somebody and they would superimpose Leonard's face over the other person in the photo. So there was a whole wall of pictures of Leonard with the Pres and other prominent figures. He used to get such a kick out of it.

Leonard loved kids. He always wanted to see my boys when we stopped by the shop. He would make faces and entertain the baby. He also would ask for pictures of them. He carried them in his wallet.

Leonard definately had some flaws, but once you got to know him you started to look over them. His kindness and goodness showed thru despite his rough exterior.

He passes away this past week. He wasn't even 60 yrs old. I guess the lifestyle he chose takes a toll on your body. I know that there probably won't be a big deal made over his death. And most people won't even notice he is gone. But those of us who knew him will sure miss him.

I guess we will all have to raise our 40 oz beers high and drink one for Leonard.

oil companies are having a great year

2005-10-28T15:33:00.000-04:00

This past quarter Exxon reported the highest profits ever made by a company in a quarter.

I should really hope so. They have lied about shortages and raised prices to ridiculous levels. Did anyone expect them not to have a great quarter?

I'd like to give a special shout-out to our good buddy, G.W. I hope the oil companies send him a really nice fruit basket this year for Christmas.

After the hurricanes I found it almost laughable that the gov was telling us to report any incidents of price gouging to the attourney general's office. I guess they meant mom and pop store owners not the whole entire oil industry.

It makes me want to go out and by a horse and cart.

Mom's Crack (Plumber's...you aren't alone)

2005-10-17T15:11:00.000-04:00

When I take the kids to the park I see some fairly interesting and sometimes funny things from time to time. A couple of days ago I saw something at the park that was almost disturbing. Forget almost.... it was disturbing and funny too.

The Banimal was running wild like he normally does and I was chasing after him with Pterdactyl Boy on my hip when I saw this kid take a hard fall. I went over because I didn't see anyone around and tried to see if the little guy was okay. A few minutes later, here comes his mom.

She was a chunky little chickie in her early twenties. She was on her cell phone, still chatting. I am assuming that was the cause for the delay in her coming to help him out. I had seen her earlier over near the edge of the park talking.

Well, anyway.. I am not going to get off subject by ranting about cell phones.

I moved out of the way so that she could get down near him and comfort him. And that is when IT happened. She bent over.....in her ultra low rise jeans ....to reveal about 4 inches of butt crack. But that isn't even the funniest part. She was wearing a thong. And it was a good four or five inches above her jeans. WHOA!!

So many things ran thru my head like..... don't you know that ultra low rise are for people who haven't given birth... and don't you know that Victoria's Secret sells a low rise thong that you wear with low rise jeans if you are going to insist on wearing the ultra low rise jeans. My ultra low rise jeans and thong wearing days are well behind me and I know that.

People always make fun of the poor plumbers. But I can forgive the plumber for his crack. Plumbers are traditionally males. Men don't really give that much thought to their clothes and how they are hanging on their bodies. But I know that girl had to have known that would happen. Women put their clothes on and then proceed to strike every possible pose that they might find themselves in that day.

Anyway... I was trying to contain my laughter. But it was nearly impossible. As she stood up to walk away I noticed that even after giving her pants a nice, strong tug her butt crack was still partially exposed and you could still see her thong resting well above the top of her pants.

Poor girl...I am sure that she will give many others in the future a laugh or two as well. Because when you've got small kids you spend most of your day bent over.

I hate high heel shoes!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-16T16:12:00.000-04:00

I don't use the word "hate" very much. It is a very strong word, but I feel that it is totally appropriate when talking about my feelings on the subject of high heels. Today I come to the conclusion that a man definately evented them, because they are so excrutiatingly painful. A woman would never cause herself that kind of pain on purpose.

I haven't worn any in about 8 mos or so. During the summer I usually sport a pair of flip-flops or Teva's. I guess it had been so long since I had worn a pair that I had forgotten really what they were like.

I got up this morning to get ready for church and decided that since I had bought a new outfit last week that I would wear it. (A new outfit is a pretty big deal for me, because I hate shopping for clothes. So I don't do it that often.) I bought a dressy pair of pants and a button up shirt. The shirt was a pretty orange shade, so I was thinking about how appropriate that would be since its fall.

Well, I got all my clothes on and realized that my pants were a little long. So I immediately thought of the brown high heel boots I had tucked away in the back of my closet. I have also been watching way too much WHAT NOT TO WEAR on TLC, so I automatically started thinking about how much skinnier I would look with the extra height. That was particularly alluring since I haven't quiet lossed my baby-fat after Pteradactyl boy.

I put on the boots and admired myself in the mirror for a few minutes and then off I went to church. My feet were hurting before I ever got in the doors. At first it was a little pinching discomfort... No big deal... I can handle that. But then by the time we were eating lunch after church it had turned into more of a burning/aching sort of feeling. Then Mr. Clean reminded me that we needed to stop at the grocery store on the way home. So after another 45 minutes in the store it had turned into a horrible stabbing pain. My feet were screaming for relief. I talked my husband into finishing the shopping trip alone and letting me go to the car with the kids. By the time I was leaving the store I was limping and wincing.

Its been several hours now since I have taken those boots off. And my feet still haven't recovered. God bless all you ladies that wear high heels all day at work. I would never make it.

Once you pop....you can't stop!!!!!!

2005-10-15T15:29:00.000-04:00

(I think that's the Pringles jingle)
Even little squirrels can't resist.

2005-10-15T15:14:00.000-04:00

It's me!! It's me!!! I'm a trying to figure out this whole photo thing. I am hopeless.

Fall is here!!!!

2005-10-13T14:20:00.000-04:00

I love this time of year. After the muggy days in September the air seems so much cleaner and crisper. The haziness is gone from the sky and it is such a brilliant blue. The sun is much lower and it seems much brighter. You have to squinch your eyes to keep it out. And it feels cool out until you stand still but then it seems like the sun will burn a hole thru your shirt.

All the squirrels and critters are running around trying to get ready for winter. There are lots of birds and butterflies around this time of year. I have a butterfly bush outside my kitchen window and there are always a few there hanging out. And those pesky gnats and misquitoes know that their days are numbered.

The leaves are really starting to change here now. They aren't at their peak yet, but they are close. I can't wait until all the maples turn. They are my favorites. I have a favorite tree in the forest nearby and every year I go and take a look at it when its at its peak. It is such a beautiful tree. It is so big and old and full and it has such a breathtaking reddish-orange color.

A few of the trees have already lost their leaves. It is great to go for a walk and hear those leaves crunching under your feet. And when all the leaves are down and they have covered the ground completely it looks like a scene from a movie.

The big field in front of our house has lots of colors in it as well. The green is fading and the reds and yellows and browns are coming out as the grass and weeds change. Its almost time to cut the field and then for a few days there will be those big hay bales sitting out there. I love to see the field full of hay bales with the old red barn in the background.

People are putting out signs for corn mazes and hay rides. The apple orchards have special apple picking tours where you ride on trailer pulled by a tractor and have picnics. Not to mention everyone is starting to make pumpkin and apple recipes now. I guess that might be why I like fall the most. It seems like this time of the year is when everyone makes pumpkin pies and cooked apples and we drink apple cider. Yum.

I feel like I need to be outside all the time, because fall is over before you know it. It seems to go by faster than the other seasons and then winter is here. But I don't want to think about winter now. I just want to soak up as much of fall as I can.

that's for old people

2005-10-09T15:13:00.001-04:00

Well, I finally did it. I have been putting off having a will drawn up since my first son was born. I've known down deep all this time that I needed to do it. I can't stand the thoughts of other people or the government making decisions for my kids. But there is something truly unnerving about signing your will.

At first I thought it was no big deal to figure everything out and put it on paper but then the inner control freak came out and I thought of thousands of possiblities of things that could come up. Thankfully, my husband let me know that I got to take a break. That if I were to die that I was relieved of my duties, so I didn't have to have an answer for everything. And that probably the people reading it would be happier if it wasn't as long as an epic novel.

I thought the hardest part was over (figuring out all the details) but boy was I wrong. Signing it proved to be almost traumatic. My nuerotic tendencies surfaced and I started to feel like maybe signing it was going to set off some horrible chain of events that would end with my untimely demise. I think the fact that I was turning 30 soon and that my husband was urging me to think about life insurance policies didn't really help either.

But its done and over with now. I can sleep easy now at least knowing that its taken care off and that if, God forbid, something did happen to me before my little boys are grown that they would be cared for. Ten years ago, I never would have believed that I would have a will at 30. That's for old people. Maybe I am old people now?

Thoughts about turning 30

2005-10-08T16:04:00.000-04:00

Well, I am officially 30 now. I am not sure really what that means, if it means anything at all. I know that I grateful to be thru with my twenties, especially the early twenties.
My early twenties were not the greatest years of my life. By the end of my twenties things started looking up. And I ended up finishing it out with a bang. I married my wonderful husband (I'll just leave it at wonderful.. he reads the blog from time to time and I don't want him to get his ego over-inflated.) then 9 mos and 6 days later I gave birth to my first baby boy and then 2yrs later I gave birth to # 2.
So I figure my 30's are going to be my coasting years. Hopefully they will be filled with camping trips and finger painting and storytime and little league and bedtime stories. My kids will not have quiet reached their teen years and all that comes with it.
I am actually excited about starting a new decade. I have finished up with the 20's and now I have this clean slate where anything is possible. I have learned alot in my 20's too, so hopefully that will help my 30's be even better.
So here's to a new decade. Happy birthday to me!!!!!!!

Somebody just slap me

2005-10-05T16:26:00.000-04:00

You know for a long time I have thought the things that I wrote about in the last post (God doesn't give you more than you can handle) but I had never actually written them down or said them out loud. Some how I just knew that if I ever was dumb enough to say how good my kids were out loud it would all come to a crashing halt. I was right. Obviously God must have read my post.
Almost immediately after clicking on publish my toddler got this kind of whine to his voice when he spoke. And a few days later he started pitching these toddler tantrums of epic proportions. Fits of screaming that would last for nearly 45 mins at a time over the fact his dad didn't properly kiss his elbows before he went to work or the fact that I wanted to brush his teeth once a day. He latches on to my leg and will not let go so the screaming follows me wherever I go. But I have to say, he does these fits only in the privacy of our home. My mother (She's a big outward appearances type of person. Who cares what the reality of your life is as long as everything looks pretty on the outside )would be so proud.
Then as if I wasn't already about to loose my mind with the tantrums, he also picked up a nasty little step throat bug and then some kind of croop (sp?) And the sweet little baby who never cries meanwhile got two teeth and is working on two more. So much for never crying.
So if my children ever do get back to their sweet little selves, I will NEVER say a word. I don't want to jinx myself.

Just because you have kids doesn't mean you enjoy everyone else's

2005-09-08T14:58:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed how when you have kids other people assume you must enjoy all kids. I don't know how many times I have been asked to babysit or work with the two year olds in the church nursery.

Well, I have a confession. Actually, I will qualify the statement first. I love my children very much and really enjoy being with them...but I don't generally like hanging out with other people's kids. I mean they are alright to be around as long as their parents are there. But I have no desire to take care of them.

I have noticed that my kids body fluids, ei.. snot, throw up, etc., don't bother me or gross me out at all. But when someone else's kid sneezes and has the 4 ft long snot streamers hanging down I can't get to the hand sanitizer fast enough.

When I do nursery duty at church I just want to run home and shower in scalding hot water. The thought of being spit up on by a random baby gives me the heebie geebies big time.

Maybe I am weird. I don't know but just because I stay at home and take care of my own kids does not mean I want to do the same with somebody else's

God never gives you more than you can handle.

2005-09-08T14:49:00.000-04:00

I have always heard the saying " God never gives you more than you can handle." I have decided after having kids that it must be true. And since its true, I have decided that God doesn't think I can handle very much.
I have friends who have babies that cry. And cry alot. But I have had two beautiful little boys, neither of which ever cry. I mean there have been times that I have wondered if they were okay. Shouldn't babies cry some? Mine very rarely ever do. But when they do I think 'man this is terrible. Who could deal with this all the time?' Obviously not me and God knows it.
I have also seen toddlers in stores lay down on the floor, flail and kick and scream bloody murder over a toy or a sucker. But my little boy will look at the toys and hop right back up in the buggy without a fuss or a toy and go on out of the store. I just look at him and wonder sometimes 'Is he normal? Whatever normal is. Don't you want to beg and plead for some cheap toy that you will have forgotten about before you even get home? Don't you want to see the pained look on my face while I run from the store praying that someone from church doesn't see this meltdown?' My brother was still laying down pitching temper tantrums in the sixth grade.
Please don't misunderstand this...I do not in any way think that I am some kind of super parent who knows magical secrets to childrearing. In fact, I am the opposite. Most of the time I feel hopelessly clueless about what to do. I have had no other experience with kids other than my own. My son's diaper was the first I've ever changed. My son was basically my teacher and my guinea pig, at times. I constantly wonder whether or not I am doing the right thing.
Also I decided not to have any epidural or pain meds when I gave birth to my second little boy. I practiced my breathing and meditating. And when time came my labor was over before it ever started. I had the fastest labor ever. I didn't really even get to put to use all that breathing I practiced. God must have known what a wimp I was and decided to spare me the pain of a long drawn out labor....( or maybe he just felt sorry for me because I pushed so long with the first one.)
All these things really just make me wonder if I should be offended in some way. "Hey God, I'm tough. I am not a wimp." Nah, nevermind... just kidding. God knows what He is doing. I am just so very grateful that for whatever reason He has blessed me, this imperfect person who fumbles awkwardly thru life just trying to do her best, with this wonderful family and life that I have.

thoughts about the hurricane

2005-09-07T15:07:00.000-04:00

There are just a few things that I need to get off my chest about the whole Hurricane Katrina situation.
First and foremost... I am so sick and tired of certain people turning everything that happens in the world into something racial. What happened to those poor folks in New Orleans had to do with them being plain ole poor not black. Because they were poor they had to depend on the government for assistance in evacuating. And depending on the government for anything is not a great idea. I don't think that there was any intentional delays in relief. I just think that there is some serious incompetence going on. And I think that it would have been just as bad if it had been a democrat in office. The government is just not known for handling anything quickly or effeciently.
Second.... The rapper that made the comments about Bush has me a little confused. Both of the pictures and captions he refered to were written by separate newspapers....not George Bush. I think that the media should be ashamed. I think they like to stir the pot, so to speak. So that they can get great headlines. And I think they like to make it look like everyone is racist. Well its just not so. They should be careful about using the word "looting" with any situation that happened after this hurricane. Looting is running down the street with tv's and car stereos, not taking bread and diapers from a flooded grocery store when your family is literally starving... no matter what color you are.
Maybe I am niave and sheltered but I think that the response nationwide shows that Americans care about other Americans and that race does not come into play. People of all colors have come out in droves to donate money, blood, and supplies. Lots of people of all races have donated their time and services to help those people and I think that is the real story.
I hope that everyone continues to pray for the survivors and to donate whatever they can to help them out.

In praise of the bald headed man

2005-09-05T16:49:00.000-04:00

I first have to say that I am somewhat biased when it comes to this subject. My husband is a bald headed man. Having said that up front.... here goes....
I never really had any idea the things a bald headed man might have to deal with until I married my husband. In fact, I don't think I ever really gave being bald much thought until then.
Have you ever watched any of those sad little commercials where you see this poor bald man and the announcer guy comes on and says "Do you get passed up for promotions at work? Do you have a hard time finding and keeping a girlfriend? Well Its because you are bald!!!! Buy our amazing product to grow hair and everything in your life will turn around."
I feel bad. Because there are probably some poor little bald guys out there that buy into that crap. If those things are happening to you chances are you are probably terrible at your job and have no personality. Bald has nothing to do with it.
When I met my husband he was pretty much completely bald, so he went ahead and shaved his head like Mr Clean. I couldn't clean the bathroom without thinking about him.( by the way, shaving bald is a great idea. Because with the comb over the only person you are fooling into thinking you have hair is you.)
Having your head shaved also helps out with the ladies at church too. One day this older lady came down from the choir and told my husband that he looked like a little angel sitting out there in the audience. Well, knowing my husband as personally as I do, I am sure he is not an angel so I had to investigate. So the next week I went and stood in the choir to see if I could figure out what was going on. It didn't take long to see what was happening. My husband was setting right below one of the reccessed lights and the glare off his shiny head gave the appearance of a halo.
So to all you baldies.... buff your bald noggins til they shine and be proud . Those guys with hair ain't got nuthin' on you.

10 yrs sure makes a huge difference

2005-09-04T16:17:00.000-04:00

Wow! I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. But I have found that is how most good things in my life start out.
I am an almost 30 yr old stay at home mom. The 20 yr old me would fall over dead if she met the 30 yr old me. Its funny how you can change so much in 10 yrs.
The 20 yr old me was a redneck, risk- taker, rebel without a cause, always getting into trouble and speaking before she thought. The 30 yr old me is a kinder gentler person. I still have a horrible country accent but I think the redneck is gone. The risk taker has pretty much been snuffed out too... mostly by having kids. I used to ride motorcycles and now I probably wouldn't even ride in a convertible because I would constantly be thinking about what would happen if it rolled over. I think kids have made me just a touch nuerotic. Maybe it was there lurking silently all along. Who knows?
The 20 yr old me loved partying and being, in general, wild and crazy. Out all night dancing. The 30 yr old me can't even stay up passed 10 pm unless you can count nursing a baby in the wee hours. Speaking of nursing.... the 20 yr old me would absolutely have a heart attack over the whole nursing thing. At twenty I thought that nursing was weird and disgusting and abnormal.... I guess that kind of falls into the not thinking things thru category. I don't think back then I gave much thought to how people fed their babies for all the centuries before infamil was invented.
I ran into a high school aquaintaince a while back and we got to talking and hanging out. She hadn't talked to me since we graduated. We met up a few more times and then she said something to me that kind of sums this whole thing up. She said "I am surprised at how together you are about your life and just things in general and how good you are with your kids." I guess that is kind of a backhanded compliment but I knew how she meant it. She still had this idea that I was the 20 yr old me.
I can honestly say that I am very glad to be turning 30 this year and I would not want to go back and be 20 again for anything.
I've come a long way, baby!!!!!!